Scleroderma Girl

2008-09-25T14:08:00.004+08:00

Thought of going to update when I got home on Monday but I'm too tired. For those of you who have read my previous entry about I'm gonna admit to hospital. Well, the doctor didn't admit me. He just increase my medicine. Anyway, I had a very bad day last Saturday and Sunday. So much wind in my stomach and I was forced to drink ginger. It was disgusting! But after awhile.... *FART FART FART FART FART FART FART FART*. Wooo.... The enjoyment of releasing those nasty winds!

Anyway, a motherfucker old fag uncle ruined my Monday. My mother and I waited for my father to pick us up at the void deck. A few minutes later, this old fag and his maids were walking towards us and do you know whats that fucker said? He said, "Don't block the way!".

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God!!! The void deck is so wide and there's still lots of spaces for people to walk and how in the freaking pickles can a wheelchair that I've sat on ( I REPEAT, A WHEELCHAIR!!!) and my mother could block the whole place??!!!!!!! I looked to my left and right and theres still lots of space!!! Fucking old man!! I don't know how many people who used wheelchair gets this verbal abuse from that stinky drain water mouth of his!! Urrrghhh!!!! He's lucky because my farting stop and if not, I fart his ugly piggy face!!! Thank God, my fingers are not that straight if not, I will be showing him this:

I want Chris Crocker to say to that old fag to just

LEAVE ~~BRITNEY~~ SOFIA ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHA. Ok, bye!

2008-09-22T07:29:00.002+08:00

Here goes nothing. I think I'm gonna get warded today to have my stomach being poke with needles/ wires or whatsoever just to get rid of water thats been making my stomach big.

*Sigh*

Why must it be in the month of ramadhan. Mother will have to get home earlier and I will be left all alone. Luckily, mother bought me the 2 GB Pink Creative Zen Stone Plus last 2 weeks!!! If students wannabe doctor come to my bed, I will pretend to sleep and listen to mp3. Those students are so irritating! New student doctor will start to come every hour and ask you the same questions. Some patients just don't wanna talk about their sickness and whats the use of having internet where you can find information about all kind of sickness?

Oh well, gotta get ready for hospital and my mood for today is like this:

*Sorry if the gif picture is slow.

2008-08-02T22:35:00.004+08:00

To those who have Scleroderma like me or anybody who have been reading my blog, add me in Friendster.

Click here
http://profiles.friendster.com/sofiashah

2008-07-23T15:44:00.001+08:00

*Sorry for the late update. I think my laptop is getting weak or something. Kinda slow (I mean REALLY slow. I can go insane, I'm telling you!). I tried to uninstalled/ delete stuffs that I don't want but it is still slow. Now, I have to type in hurry because I'm using my brother's computer (As if he's the one that bought this computer. TSK!).

16 June.

Mother called my doctor because of my diarrhea, my swollen feets and bloated stomach (Nothing new, its always been bloated).
Doctor was worried about my bloated stomach because she said its getting bigger. Said I have to get warded.
I hate being warded.
My day was ruin.
Reached hospital, nothing much was done on that day.
I should smack this male doctor's head. My blood was flowing like volcano on my arm when he took my blood. Don't know how this scooby doo guy pass his examination as a doctor. Disgrace. Waste my precious blood!
Night came, mother went home and I slept.

17 June.

A handsome doctor named, Lionel, came and said that he will be doing the procedure to take out the water in my stomach.
I was scare.

Dr. Lionel got ready all the equipment. I was lying on my bed and I kept praying that the procedure will run smoothly. I know I shouldn't feel scare about it because I had done procedures that are similarity to this. For example, my heart and lung being inserted with tube. I am a scaredy cat so I should feel scare about it even though my body had been torture with needles/ tubes so many times. I ain't a voodoo doll, you know.

Anyway, doctor inject my left side stomach to make it numb and if I'm not wrong, he inserted a sharp long wire in my stomach. I wasn't concentrating on what he was doing. I was staring at the ceiling. In about 20 minutes or so, yellow fluid (Eww...) starts to flow into the bag. Dr. Lionel said if there isn't any fluid left in my stomach, the tube should be out tomorrow.

The torture is over? Hell, no. After mother went home, the pain became worse and my heart felt different. I couldn't sleep. I was crying (Ya, I know I am a cry baby). I called the nurse and said I'm in terrible pain. She will paged the doctor to check on me. Anyway, the doctor said that it is normal for my stomach to feel pain because its contain less fluid since my stomach is getting flatter. The nurse gave me pain killer injection. It was a sleepless night for me.

18 June

Woke up and I feel "sexy". Flat stomach and I could feel ribs bone. Handsome Doctor Lionel came and said that the tube can be taken out. I was happy and I ain't afraid when it came to taking out because I won't feel the pain.

19 June

Discharged. The most irritating thing is that I have to drink only 4 cups of water per day. 1.5 litres to be exact. I'm feeling dehydrated and my skin is getting drier. No salty food for me.

*******

Update

2008-06-23T14:38:00.002+08:00

Hey people!! Just discharged from hospital on the 19 June. Will update about my stomach being torture.

Disgusted

2008-06-03T20:21:00.003+08:00

What is wrong with people nowadays? The world is full of sick people. I am not talking about people that have sickness. I'm talking about people that are sick in the brain. Sick minded people. Disgusting people.

Last week I came across a video in YouTube about people reaction towards 2 girls 1 cup and I was wondering what the hell are they watching that made them shocked. I scrolled down to read comments, most of them typed that the video is disgusting and don't watch it. I am so curious that I googled it and found a website that show the video. At first, 2 girls were making out for a few minutes and then 1 girl shit in the cup. The shit came right off her asshole and guess what they do with that shit? Both of them licked that shit and put it in their mouth. The show is not over! They stick 1 finger down their throat and vomit on each other mouth! My face was as shocked as the people that watched the video. Anyway, some people said that the shit is fake and it could be ice cream. Some said that the girls were on drugs or something. But guess what! The Japanese version is so real! I mean come on, who can fake it when you are in a 69 position and shit coming out from your asshole and your partner is ready for that shit in her mouth. The video is as the same as 2 girls 1 cup. Make out, shit and vomit. The Japanese video is called 2 girls 1 finger. There's also 4 girls fingerpaint video. Its the same. 1 girl 1 pitcher is about a girl drinking her own urine. Its a sad and sick world that we are living in. I think disgusting people don't appreciate delicious foods and drinks. Chocolate ice cream are absolutely taste great than shit and ice lemon tea are much better than urine. Only dogs eat shits.

Most people said that if this guy is still alive, they wanna shout, "Serve you right!". I would do the same too. Guess what did he died from? This guy died from having anal sex with a horse! Yes, a horse! I've seen the video and it is the most disgusting and shocking video. A man bend down and another man help the horse by putting the horse's cock in that guy's asshole. I mean, what the fuck is he thinking?! The horse's cock is so thick and fucking long! I don't know why the hell he likes to be fuck by animals. There are many gay guys that wanna fuck his asshole. Why choose a horse? Horses are meant to take us on a ride from places to places. Animals should fuck with their own kinds. Not with human. That guy is sick in the brain. He died with internal injuries.

Anyway, this 2 videos are funny! Love the ending. Funny~!

Kermit the frog reaction to 2 girls 1 cup.

Rowlf the dog reaction to 2 girls 1 cup. Listen very closely to what he said at the ending. HAHA!

2008-05-15T13:51:00.002+08:00

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go tall-y
It's my birthday!

Happy 20th Birthday to me! Its kinda sad that you have to wish yourself a happy birthday right? Haha! But I would like to thanks to my parents, Fidah, Aziz and YX for those wishes. Recently, my father also celebrated his 53th birthday which is on 2 May. Anyway, I had pizza for breakfast and I ate it all by myself. No sharing because its my birthday! Ya ya ya I know, such a greedy pig.

I feel terrible to ask my father to buy for me a 2 GB Pink Creative ZEN Stone Plus with built-in speaker as a birthday present. He spend so much money on my medical every month. Should I ask him to buy it? Do I sound desperate for that mp3?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

Will update soon.

2008-04-22T20:02:00.003+08:00

When I die, I want to be an angel to all my beloved ones.

"If I could be your angel
Your angel, your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gonna be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel". -Natasha Bedingfield's A.N.G.E.L song.

Nisha, I read your blog. Don't be sad ok? Masih sedih, main curang dengan guy kau. Nanti aku nyanyikan lagu, "Ooo.. Ooo... Kamu ketahuan pacaran lagi". Cuci mate aje dekat sekolah. Pakai detergent tak? Haha! Goyang lagi yuk!

Sigh... Terribly miss school's life. Miss wearing school uniform. 2 years of not schooling. My brain is so outdated. I remember when it was the first day of primary school. I was a fat primary 1 student and the school's hall was full of parent looking at their child sitting on the floor. Such a disturbance parents. Why don't they just go home after they send their child to school? Some primary 1 students cried when their parent want to go home. Haha! If only Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River song was released in the year of 1995, I would have dedicate that song to all the cry babies. Anyway, there was an incident when a boy complained to his mother that I took his sitting place and I got scolded by his mother. What the fuck?!! I don't see his name written on the floor and there was no bag occupying that place. If there's nothing occupying that place, what should you do? Occupy it right? There was so many empty seats and why the fuck must he complained to his fucking mother?!! Such a pussy boy! No dick! I bet that his mother's brain was in her vagina. Bitch! Scolded me for nothing! Anyway, the most nonsensical stuff in primary school is when it was my first time received love letter. I was in primary 4 back then. I wasn't interested in it because I was only 10 years old and what the fuck does a 10 years old girl knows about love? Mr T (thats what he wrote his name in his letter) is so desperate for a girlfriend. I threw away his letter. Such a disturbance. To cut the story short, primary school's life sucks! No good memories. I'm always on TAF club.

Secondary school's life is the best! Many good memories and less bad ones.

Sec 1, I was a student who always get into trouble. A girl who always failed to tuck in her school's uniform. Mixed with the wrong friend. Nearly get expel from school because I scolded vulgarities to a teacher. He deserved it. Such a big ass! Seriously, he's the only male teacher with a big ass. Anyway, my friend became a school drop out and that is the time for me to change my attitude to miss goody goody.

Sec 2, I don't know why but I'm addicted to piercing. I remember having 6 ears studs in each of my ears. Totally of 12 piercing. I'm a light smoker. Oh ya, not to forgot that I also had my nose pierce. I always get caught by teachers because I wore transparent ear sticks. School only allow one ear stick in each ears. Anyway, I can't remember on which lower sec's life that I got caught by one bitch teacher because I wore eyebrow liner. I had to wear it because you know, I shaved off my eyebrow. It was the biggest mistake I made. Thank God, it grew back. Anyway, I hate that bitch. I still remember her fuck ugly face! It makes me wanna spit on her face. Do you like it if you get caught wearing eyebrow liner and she come scolding you using her fuck ugly hand to grip your face? The gripping is very hard. Of course, you don't like it right? There's one kind hearted teacher ask her to stop but she won't listen. She still gripped my face. If I come from rich family, I can sue her for student abuse! Fucking whore! This incident happened when the whole school were having rev-up exercise. Fidah, I think you know her. That bitch is our home economic teacher. Hint: She have a mole on her upper lips. Her name start with C. Her surname start with T. Speaking of Fidah, I became friend with her in the middle year of Sec 2. Is it, Fidah? From then on, I became a good student and she became my best friend!

She came into my life and changed it. I became crazy. I laughed a lot. Fidah, still remember keras? The guy that walks too stiff? How about jatuh? The guy that fell from the monkey bar when we were heading towards the toilet? HAHA!! That incident still fresh in my mind! Both of us love to give names to people that we hate or weird or whatever. We changed certain teachers' name. For example: Neo hidung babi, John kepale squidwart and Chiam ah go go. Sec 3 and Sec 4's life are the best!

I am happy today because the nurse managed to take my blood on my hand! My vein show some improvement. God finally answered my prayer. Anyway, went for my appointment for my stomach. Doctor said that its getting bloated and if its getting worse, they will have to poke my stomach to let the fluid out. Actually, the doctor suggested for me to get warded today but I don't want because of phobia! I nearly cry when mother suggested the same. The doctor gave medicine that help me to urine more but the process for the stomach to get back to normal will be slow. Hopefully that medicine will work well so that I don't have to get warded. I hate hospital and fucking phobia of being poke with syringes.

If I am totally recover from Scleroderma, I want to learn Melbourne Shuffle and Jumpstyle. Good way of losing weight. As far as I know, both of the dance uses Trance music which have powerful bass.

Melbourne Shuffle Video

Jumpstyle Video

2008-04-01T14:28:00.002+08:00

It's Sofia, bitch.

Gimme gimme more! Gimme more! Gimme gimme more! My hunger was fulfilled on Sunday because I had pizza. It's been a long time that I had not eat pizza. I ate pepperoni pizza and shroom garden pizza. Pepperoni? Love it. Shroom? Hate the green capsicums but love the mushrooms. I ate like a pig. 4 pieces of pizza are not enough for me. I want more. I even ate my brother's pizza. Mother said we can't order pizza very often because it is expensive and more over we will be using lots of money for my 3 doctors' appointment and medicine this April. Damn, why can't pizza cost only $2??? Anyway, I overheard a conversation between my mother and brother in the kitchen. I heard that my mother said, "If you want to give your sister a treat, buy her pizza. She love pizza". Oh wow! I can't wait for my brother to get his salaries.

Nisha, if you reading this, have you found your paddle pop yet? That ice cream is so heavenly but too bad, its hard to find it in Singapore. Makin gatal eh kau. Blog kau pun samer. Mentang mentang dah ade boyfriend. Pangkat ape ar? Datuk eh? Eh dah lame tak cakap pasal datuk datuk seh. I ni sebagai datin dah lame tak cari datuk. Maklum lah tak ade time nak pergi club dangdut. Goyang Inul I pun dah karat. Macam mane nak goyang dengan wheelchair seh.

Its April Fool Day today. Why must 1st of April be a fool day? Even if it is not 1st of April, you get fool on any other day. On the month of April is a sad month for those who have survive shooting madness at Columbine High School in 20 April 1999. 12 students and a teacher were killed. I was searching for Flyleaf's Cassie song on You Tube. While hearing the song, I scrolled down to look at the comments. Mostly were type by saying that Cassie was shot to death for believing in God at Columbine High School. The killer asked Cassie if she believes in God before shooting her and I was like, what?!! As far as I know, I thought the shooting in Columbine High School was about bullying. Said that the 2 killers had enough with being bullied and took revenge by shooting those bullies and some innocent ones before committed suicide. If you didn't know about the Columbine shooting and when you hear Flyleaf's Cassie song for the first time, you will first think that this song is about commit suicide and that was what I thought because of the chorus.

"Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger".

But after reading the song's lyrics, its not about committing suicide. Its about being kill. There's a part that said, "She answered him knowing what would happen. Her last words still hanging in the air". Cassie was either shot by Eric or Dylan. In the lyrics, they also mention Rachel. Both of these girls were shot in the head for believing in God. Everyone believes in God. Eric and Dylan were brave enough to commit suicide but why must they killed people?

Its kinda scary if a stranger comes up to you and ask weird question like, "Are you sexy?". You don't even know how to answer. If you answer yes, the person might kidnapped you and rape you and worse of all, kill after raping. If you answer no, the person might think that you have no confidence in life. The best answer is I don't know but what if.... Argh! I think too much.

Oh man! My tamagotchi is so irritating. As I was typing, it keeps beeping asking for food, attention, cleaning up the shits. I was searching for my tamagotchi yesterday and its been a year or so that I had not take care of my tamagotchi. Some died because I neglect them. I'm so glad that the batteries are still working and best of all, my tamagotchi is pink. I don't know what makes me bought this tamagotchi. Maybe I want to spend all my working salary.

Speaking of working, I kinda miss working because you will get money at the end of the month. I worked as a promoter. Promote ladies' clothes at Isetan. I started working at 18 after graduated from ITE while waiting for my exam result. I quit due to my sickness after a couple of months. At 18, scleroderma slowly developed in me. I still remember having trouble squatting and bending down when picking things up. Even getting up from the seat and from the floor would be a difficult tasks for me. At 19, its getting worse. I can't grip on to things properly, I can't straighten my fingers, I can't swallow food properly (I was on tube feeding for few months), all my muscles started to tighten, I had to quit school and worse of all, I can't walk. Scleroderma is NO fun! Who the hell wants to wear diapers at the age of 20? But I always thank God that I get to eat through my mouth again and walk a little bit even though my heart is still weak. Time heals the wound. I want to walk normally not like a penguin and be able to do everyday stuffs. I want to go back to school, it doesn't matter at what age. Gain more knowledge and get the best job that have the highest salaries.

1 more month till I turn 20. No more -teen. It will be -ty all the way. Going on 20 but I still behave like a child. I always make sound of baby crying when I'm bored. I always shout "Oi..!" to my youngest brother when he is going to the kitchen just to piss him off. Haha! I'm getting childish as time goes by.

I typed enough.

2008-03-12T21:55:00.002+08:00

Funny video from Youtube. It is an interview with Michael Jackson which this SkinnyClown dubbed over and made it hilarious!

A long entry

2008-03-05T15:10:00.004+08:00

Poor poor poor old blog of mine. I've been abandon you for so long. Anyway, how are you guys? As for me, I am feeling fine. Wanna know something? My hickman line is finally gone on early February! Yeah, I know its abit outdated to tell you guys. No more stupid wire or whatever sticking out from my chest! You know, I was so freak out when the doctor gonna pull it off. I can actually feel that my heart is being pull out. The doctor said if she can't pull the hickman line off, she gonna cut it (I think thats what she said). I was like, "Are you gonna use that blade on my skin?!!" and she was like, "Yeah but yours shouldn't be a problem because your hickman line have been there for 4 months so it shouldn't be a problem to pull it out. Just hope and pray that everything go smoothly". I was lying on the bed praying that it can be pull off easily while the doctor prepared her gloves and things that needed. She's ready, she takes the hickman line and she told me to relax. I stared at the ceiling and the doctor kept talking to me while pulling the hickman line. Within 2 minutes it was off! Off from my chest! The doctor quickly placed some cotton or Whatever-The-Thing-Called on the hole so that my blood stop. She pressed it hard for like 5 minutes but when she took it off, the blood flow again and I was like, Arghhh!! I felt the blood flow on my shoulder and once again the doctor had to press it again. Anyway, to cut the story short, I'm happy that my hickman line is gone. No more going to the hospital frequently but there's one problem and that is once the hickman line is off, they will have a hard time with me when its come for blood test because they usually took blood from the hickman line. Thats what happened yesterday when the nurses wanna take my blood. Anyway, I wanna blog on 25 February first.

On 25 February, I had heart ultrasound appointment. I hate it because it is totally uncomfortable and its like my left breast being molested with I-Don't-Know-What-That-Thing-Called-That-Looks-Like-A-Price-Tag-Scanner and moreover, the person had to press that thing hard so that the picture is clear or what so ever. This is the second time I had my heart being ultrasound and its NO fun. On 3 March, I had an appointment with the heart doctor and he said that my heart is still the same as the previous result. I was upset because I expect some improvement. Not to give up, I just pray that my heart condition will get better.

On 4 March, I had to go for stomach ultrasound. Its like going for a pregnancy check up! Haha! Anyway, they wanna have my stomach being ultrasound is because they wanna make sure that my stomach doesn't contain too much water. Having my stomach ultrasounded is way too ticklish. I had to control my laughter for 10 minutes throughout the whole check up. My stomach is bloated and I told my mother that I look like an alien and even an african kid. Big stomach with skinny legs. Before going to my ultrasound appointment, I also had to go for my blood test. Since my hickman line is gone, the nurses had a hard time finding my vein. They found a vein but its too deep and they dare not to poke it. They scared that if they poke it and not a single blood come out. Other patients have one nurse to find their vein while me have two or three nurses. Sigh...but in the end, they had to call the doctor. There's no need for me to guess because I know that the doctor gonna take blood from my groin area and sure enough it is. I wonder why it is easier to take blood from the groin and I tell you, it is so uncomfortable especially if the doctor is a male. The pain is like a big red ant bite you and when the doctor pull the syringe to take the blood, I can actually feel it. I had taken blood from my groin for so many times but I still feel scare. Now I have phobia with needles poking into my body. I should have count on how many times my body being poke since the day I was diagnose with Scleroderma. I had my chest being poke, my upper arm being poke, my lung being poke, (Just to take out water that is a lot from my lung) and other places that had been torture with needles. I feel like a guinea pig going for an experimental.

Anyway, the digestion doctor said that my stomach doesn't contain too much water so there is no need to poke my stomach. Phew... Thank God! Before I end this entry, I wanna share a video that is so funny. Its taken from Michael Jackson's beat it video and it is spoken in french or something but not to worry, there's a subtitle to it. Another video is about a cat that can talk. Amazing. Enjoy!

My video... Enjoy =)

2008-01-19T18:15:00.000+08:00

2008-01-17T17:43:00.001+08:00

Who have watch A shot at love? I think Channel 5 is NOT gonna air this show on tv. Too hot to handle. Can't believe that Tila is bisexual. Too bad that not even a single lesbian contestants on that show win a shot at love with Tila Tequila. Whats that guy's name that won Tila's heart? Oh well, he broke up with her. What a sucka! Tila should have pick Dani. She doesn't look like a lesbian and she is a handsome woman. Like a real man! Anyway, I found that Tila's "I love U" song is kinda funny and irritating. Remember to pause the song on the upper right if you wanna listen to Tila's song.

2007-12-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

1 more day and goodbye 2007. I used to get excited over New Year but now, no. I don't know whats gonna happen to me in the year 2008. Sometimes I get fed up with life!! I feel like I just don't wanna eat all my medicine and rot to death!! I used to skip my medicine last year but now I can't because mother take care of my medication. My parent always tell me to have patience and always pray to God. He is the one that gave you this sickness and He is also the one that can take away your sickness. I can be patience but for how long? There are times I cried because I couldn't take it. I still remember that time when I asked my parent on what if I die before them and my mother said she don't like I asked that kind of question and I should think positive. I'm feeling down right now. Sigh~

2007-12-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare. I dreamt that the wire ( I don't know whats it call ) that poke through my heart's passageway became longer and the wire is trying to choke me. The wire dropped off and I'm awake. When back to sleep and another nightmare came. I dreamt that I have a boyfriend. I was like ewww....

Anyway, didn't slept well last night and I don't know why. Maybe I was thinking too much. Thinking about will I ever survive without my mother's cares. Will the people help me to pick up coin or stuff that I've drop? Am I brave enough to face the world? I don't know whats have been happening around Singapore. The only place I go is hospital just for check up. Back and forth. I'm getting sick of hospital. Doctors and nurses know me well. I had to put on a fake smile at them. HAHA! I miss going to the mall and wasting my money on nonsensical stuffs. Last week mother decided to take me out to the beach but I don't want to because I'm scare that I might have diarrhea. Scleroderma is a complicated sickness. Sometimes diarrhea, sometimes not. So, I don't know when the diarrhea will strike. If only Scleroderma doesn't involve diarrhea, I would be happy and free from diaper!!!! Anyway, I've been coping well. I walk around the house after breakfast. I hope I can walk normally by the end of December.

The most important thing is that I pray and hope that God get rid Scleroderma from my body.

2007-11-24T16:56:00.001+08:00

Saturday.... *yawn*

Today my stomach is behaving very naughty. Diarrhea!!! Feel like punching my stomach. This is what I don't like about my sickness. Sometime normal shit come out. Sometime diarrhea. Last time I had to shit 10 times in 1 day. Freaking tired. Diaper had to be changed many time. Mother had to clean all my shit. I don't know how she cope with her sick daughter. Got me thinking, will I ever take good care of my parent when they are old?

Anyway, I had a dream. I dreamt that I can sit on the floor, get up by myself from the toilet bowl or any low level chair, I can finish one plate of nasi goreng, I can walk normally, all my joints are not in pain and my muscles are not stiff. Just like the old and healthy Sofia. Boy, what a dream! I hope my dream come true so that I can go back to school. Next year gonna be 20. I really gonna need more certificate. ITE certificate isn't enough. After my recovery, I'm gonna concentrate on my studies, medicine, religious and future career. No boyfriend. By the time reach 25 or above, don't think about marriage. Think about career! Get a good certificate, find a career that pay high salary and live a good life. No need to get marry. Just adopt a child and buy a cat. A woman with high salary job don't need a man in her life. Just like what the Pussycat dolls say:

" I don't need a man
to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man
to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete."

So, have you guys been notice that nowadays youngsters get sick. I mean not flu, fever that kind of sickness. Its a life time sickness. Take me for example. Diagnose with Scleroderma at the age of 18 in late December last year. A rare sickness. Did you read the newspaper about a 14 year old girl who gave birth and the doctor said she have cancer? My aunty's friend who have a niece that diagnose with Cervical Cancer. She is only 16. She in ICU. She won't eat. She's in hospital all the time. I guess the world is getting more modern, more sickness keeps coming. Youngster eat fast food after school, junkies, etc. The world is just a temporary place. Once you dead, you don't have to carry the pain with you.

2007-11-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

Finally I get to sleep yesterday night. All this while I've been up all night and only feel sleepy at 5 am plus. Mother decided to give the sleeping pill that the doctor prescribed but I was sound asleep. She said that depending on sleeping pills is not good. If you want to sleep, sleep naturally. I'm waiting for the sore on my ass to heal and also my butt crack. So uncomfortable when sitting and shifting my ass. Now I know how prisoner feel after they get whack on their ass. Their pain are much painful than mine.

Once the sore is heal, I can sleep, sit, move my ass peacefully. I'm praying that I can walk on my own, stand on my own and so on. I don't want to use wheelchair, diaper or having this tube that poke through my heart's vein. Wonder when they gonna take it off.Who the hell wants a tube stuck on the chest? Nobody. I wanna be normal and free from all the medicine. I wanna go to the mall, movie, library and so on, without wheelchair. Most important of all is school. I get jealous with students lately. Anyway, I am drooling over pizza hut's beef lasagne. The last lasagne that I ate was from Canadian Pizza and it wasn't that good. No taste of cheese.

Why the hell I can't insert image in blogger?!! Grrrr....

FUNNY

2007-10-31T11:31:00.000+08:00

My Wishes

2007-10-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

NOT to be admit in hospital again. ( Enough is enough. Sometimes I feel fed up with doctors. Poke needles in me about a zillion times just because they can't find my veins. Its not my fault, it's my sickness. I'm NOT a voodoo doll...!!! Another thing, I HATE medical student doctors!!! Bloody fishcakes!! Ask me so many questions once they know that I was admitted. Same old questions. Don't they know how to search Scleroderma on the INTERNET??!!! Its not that I don't want to help them in their studies in medical but what do I get in return? Why can't they share their notes to those students who don't have the chance to questionaire me??!!! )
To be able to walk again.
To have a healthy heart and lungs. NO more breathless.
Don't want to wear adult diapers.

There so many wishes I wanna type.

* subhanallah walhamdulillah

astaghfirullah wallahu akbar

subhanallah walhamdulillah

astaghfirullah hasbi Allah

di tepi kerinduanku

memandang hampa pada dunia

ku hanya orang biasa

tak lepas dari rasa kecewa

reff: hanya padamu tempatku mengadu

pahit yg kini menyiksaku

aku percaya tiada yg sia-sia

semua kan ada hikmahnya

repeat *

angan yg membalut mimpi

dulu melukis nyanyian hati

ku hanya orang yg kalah

satukan hatiku yg terbelah

repeat reff

repeat *

2007-10-28T09:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was discharged from hospital. 12 days in there was no fun. I hate it. An ambulance had to sent me home because I am too weak to walk. One thing I hate about hospital is that they won't let you out of the bed especially patients with green color tag on their wrist. How to have power to walk?? Now I know how patients in C-class ward was being treated. No therapist, slow service and very crampy. I felt suffocating.

Now I have to start like a baby with my diaper on. There's this medicine that makes me pass urine many times thats why I had my diaper on. Mum help me to get up, walk, change my diaper, clean my shits and stuff. Just like a baby. Mum said not to worry about her so much. A very strong woman in my life.

2007-10-06T16:29:00.000+08:00

Hot!! Hot!! Hot!! Hot!! The weather is hot.

Ok, I've done my typing therapy. Fingers tired.

I love cats. I wanna steal the cat that says Mama.

2007-09-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

Last Friday was the happiest day of my life. The doctor finally removed my feeding tube from my nose. No more milk feeding through the tube. I was not nervous when she took it out because I'm used to it. The tube looks gross because its been down through my nose, throat and stomach for 1 month or so. Now my nose is free! I can dig my nose for all I care! HAHA! But still, I have to continue drinking 5 cans of milk per day. Hospital milk taste so disgusting but I get used to it. So expensive.

I will get better soon especially my walking. Can't wait to start my therapy at NUH.

To my friends that miss me badly, we will meet up next year and Nisha, dah jadi Datin ke belum?

2007-07-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

If God is ready to take my life, I want God to take my soul when I am sleeping.

I don't know. I just can't bear the pain. Try to be happy but failed.

I'm getting weaker.

Life on shuffle.

2007-07-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

Got this from somebody's blog and wanna give it a try.

Instructions:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title to answer the questions. ( Lyrics may be inserted as well, depending on your preference.)
4. DON'T CHEAT.

1) How am I feeling today?
Black or White - Michael Jackson "...Now I believe in miracles".

2) When will I get married?
I Can't Hate You Anymore - Nick Lachey "... And how could we quit something we never really try".

3) What is my best friend's theme song?
I Have Nothing - Whitney Houston "... Share my life, take me for what I am".

4) What was high school like?
Dangerous - Michael Jackson

5) What is the best thing about me?
Shake - Ying Yang Twins Feat. Pitbull "... Nasty as I wanna be".

6) How is today gonna be?
A New Day Has Come - Celine Dion "... Where there was pain now there's joy".

7) What is in store this week?
Never Had a Dream Come True - S Club 7 "... Everybody got something".

8) What song describes my parents?
You're Still The One - Shania Twain "... You're still the one that I love".

9) How is my life going?
Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne "... I'm damn precious".

10) What song will they play at my funeral?
Rush - Aly and AJ "... Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over".

11) How does the world see me?
Pure Shores - All Saints "... I'm moving, I'm coming".

12) What do my friends see in me?
Tak Ada Logika ( No Logic) - Agnes Monica

13) Do people secretly lust about me?
Fly - Hilary Duff "... Feel the wind on your shoulder".

14) How can I make myself happy?
Photo - Ryan Cabrera "... A photo can capture the way we were".

15) What should I do with my life?
Love At First Sight - Kylie Minogue "... It was love, it was love, it was love".

16) Will I ever have children?
I'll Be Missing You - P. Diddy "... Can't imagine all the pain I feel".

17) What is some good advice?
Be Yourself - Audioslave "... Be yourself is all that you can do".

18) What do I think my current theme song is?
It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry "... This love is killing me but you're the only one".

19) What does everyone else think of my current life?
Irreplaceable - Beyonce "... To the left, to the left".

20) What type of man do you like?
Stronger - Britney Spears

21) Will you get married?
Like a Stone - Audioslave "... Who will take me to Heaven".

22) Where will I live?
Touch The Sky - Kayne West "... Cause this must be Heaven".

23) What should I do with my love life?
Zombie - The Cranberries "... Heart is taken over".

24) What will your dying words be?
All My Life - KC and JoJo

25) When I'm having sex I say?
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson "... Be careful what you do".

26) When I meet a guy/girl for the first time I say
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse "... Oh baby can you hear me moan?"

27) When my parents are angry I say
Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry "... Save tonight and fight the break of dawn".

So fun especially if the songs have a suitable lyrics for each questions.

Salam terakhir.

2007-06-28T11:50:00.000+08:00

Phone rang.

I picked up and it was my older brother. He said he wanna talk to father and I thought maybe brother makes some trouble at work. Father thought so too but it wasn't. Brother told father that his sister's husband just passed away. His son told my brother about it. I was there listening. Father started crying after he hung up and say a little prayer.

My uncle died of heart attack while riding his motorbike.

A sad and bad news we received today.

2007-06-24T20:38:00.000+08:00

Whats with Imeem? Its like you login to your account and happily searching for song and the next thing you knew, Imeem give you 30 seconds preview of that song. Most of the songs are for preview. No wonder people stop using imeem on their blog, friendster or whatever.
-__-''

Today is the end of 1 week school holidays. Another 2 weeks to go.

Yesterday, my family watched a malay ghost movie on DVD. Not that scary but of course, the looks of the ghost is scary. Long black hair, wearing all white.... Anyway, mother kept reminding me to say a pray before going to sleep because she scare I have a nightmare. Ok, I've done that already. At around 3 am, I woke up and want to pee but scare to get out of my bedroom. Nuggets... I shouldn't have watch that ghost movie. Scold my bladder for waking me up at the wrong time. HAHA!! I hate getting out of my bedroom between 1 am to 5 am. There was one time when I got out of my room to pee and the whole house is pitch dark. Alamak! Who the hell switch off the kitchen's light?!! The light is always on at night. Anyway, back to the story... I don't know why I was scared to get out of my room and go to the toilet. Eventhough the kitchen's light is on but I'm scare. It took me 15 minutes to dash to the kitchen and in to the toilet. Never in my life, I ran back to my room after I went out of the toilet and quickly close and lock the door. Maybe the image of the ghost is in my mind thats why I'm scare. Told mother about it and she said it is only my feeling that made me scare. Silly me.

Did I told you about my cousin's house in Woodlands? Well, her house is haunted. She and her husband just moved into that house. My cousin's first child had been playing with this chinese little girl spirit in her house. My cousin also saw it with her own eyes. The little girl just walked about in her house. Moreover, my cousin is pregnant with her 3rd child now. Kids and pregnant women can easily see spirit especially kids. I think her house have a story behind it. Maybe the little girl died there and the spirit is not in peace or the house had been empty for a long time. Spirits love empty houses/ schools/ hospital etc. Have you ever encounter one? Not me.

2007-06-16T14:29:00.000+08:00

Done an X-ray on my lungs yesterday because my coughing have not recover for 2 weeks and the result is that my lungs are alright. Phew! More cough syrup for me! -__-''

Hope this irritating cough will be out of my life!! Fucking irritating...
Fever are finally gone.

2 weeks of absent from school and missed lots of lesson. Will I ever cope???

3 weeks of school holidays has just begun!!!

Sayonara.

...

2007-06-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

Alot of catching up to do since nearly 1 week of absent from class.

Bloody high fever.

Sad

2007-06-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

Today I am feeling 10% of happiness and 90% of sadness.

10% of happiness is because Ms Evangeline (My ex-ICT class advisor) is 3 months pregnant!! Congrats!! I saw her while I was sitting in the school's foyer. Wasn't sure it was her, I sms her and indeed, it was her with a tummy fill with baby.

90% of sadness is because I should have done better with my INA test just now but I hope I pass the test. My coughing and flu have not gone yet.

The most important thing is why I am filled with sadness is I miss him and her badly. Listening to Nelly Furtado's Say It Right repeatedly really brings me to tears especially the chorus.

"Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No, you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me".

Him.
I met him at Jurong Point around 8 pm to receive his previous EP papers just now. Our meeting lasted 5 minutes and straight to home. After so long of not seeing each other, 5 minutes is definitely not enough for me. How sad is that? Don't know when we will meet again. Eventhough he is a pain in the ass, I still miss him.

Her.
The one that is in Dover ITE. Its been a long time that I have not seen her. I miss her laugh and jokes. When will we have our Long John Silver dinner that we've been craving for? She is the sweetest friend that I will definitely miss. When will we meet?

Both of them are my Secondary School's friends. The ones that I am comfortable in disturbing and irritating them. The ones that understand my conditions right now. The ones that can stand my rudeness or whatever.

I just don't understand. The people that we didn't miss at all, we get to spend the time most but the people that we truly, madly, deeply miss seem that the time are short. The people that we don't wanna see, we get to see. Where else the people that we really wanna see, we hardly get to see.

Me. I'm just trying not to stress myself or else I'll be crying in bed like yesterday. Try to follow Doctor's advices and make myself happy if not my health will get worse.

Banned Commercials

2007-05-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAA!!! Enjoy watching!

Sony Camera Commercial. HAHAHA!!

A family that doesn't know English wanna learn English.

Durex

Diao.....

2007-05-27T14:02:00.000+08:00

This is so funny siak!!! Hossan Leong is so funny!!!!!! Enjoy watching!!

Taking a break from studying. Sigh... Tomorrow is EP practical class test. Wah!! No confidence in that practical stuff. Last Friday was just a trial and I'm so blur siak!! INA test in on Wednesday. I'm pretty confident about that subject because I love INA!! I wonder when we will start VB lesson. I guess after school holidays. Confirm faint one lei...!! If I'm not wrong VB lesson is the one with too much Javascript. Die lah... Javascript not that easy lei...

Wah piang eh!! Want to study very hard but the energy is not there with me! I don't know whether I am back to square one just like my Nitec year in 2005. Wah piang eh!! Can wake up or not nabeh?!! You want to repeat in Nitec again is it?!! 19 fucking years old already lei...!! Be more fucking serious can or not Sofiaaaaaaaa??!!! Siao... scold vulgarities to myself...

Sorry today broken english... My brain spinning right now...

Tan

2007-05-23T14:56:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but once I reached school, I just let my tears fell down on my cheeks. Reached school quite early today. Around 7.25 am because my father send me to school. Maybe I cried because the freaking cramps on both of my legs that doesn't to be gone. The cramps can sometimes be felt through my ass. Walking is a tough for me. The pain is so unbearable. Maybe I cried because of my father. I pity my father because he didn't get enough sleep after work. He is always sending me to school (sometimes I go by myself), NUH for my therapy after my school ended. I have to go to the therapy 3 times a week and I'm getting more tan now!! I actually like the therapy but I hate the medicine that were supposed to be taken before I went for the therapy. The capsules is like big! I remember that I was choke because of that capsules. Now, I have to chew on the capsules to suck the horrible taste of the medicine. YUCKS!!

The therapy only take a few minutes. In case you were wondering what type of therapy I'm going through, I'll tell you. Well, it is Phototherapy. Its one big machine and I have to go in to that equipment with only my bra, panties and a goggles to protect my eyes (Like going for a swim siak!! HAHA!!). Therapist will set the timer and out comes the UV light. I have to stand there and let the UV light shine on my skins. I'm getting tan and more tan right now. When I'm outside, I have to avoid sunlight because I'm getting more UV light from that therapy. Too much sunlight is bad. I have to use sunblocks. So troublesome but what to do? Health come first. The purpose of this therapy is to soften my body cells and skins. My sickness is making my skins tighter and thats why I have to go for that Phototherapy. It takes months to do. I have poor immune systems and poor blood circulation. So tired went back and forth to NUH.

EP classtest is tomorrow. HATE IT!! Gotta revise INA. My favorite subject!!!!!!!!

Ouch!!

2007-05-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

I hate injections. Nope, not the kind of blood taking injections. The one that finding your veins and once it is success, a long tube that contain watery kind of medicine will flow to your veins. I think it is called "Dripping".

I don't mind getting poke with needles when taking blood because the pain is like an ant bite. I remember the first time when I had to have my blood check in the NUH, the nurses were having a hard time finding my veins but now, its not that difficult coz an expert poke it. When its come to dripping, they really, seriously, terribly had a hard time finding one darn vein. Doctor said the needles really need to get into my vein so that my medicine will flow properly if not there be swollen to my hand. I remember when I was warded to the hospital, in the middle of the night while I was asleep with dripping flowing through my vein. At first, my hand felt sting and the pain is unbearable. I switched on the bed light and to my horror, it was swollen. Like really swollen. Like a hand of a giant. I was petrified and was shaking when I pressed the "Help" button. Nurse said the needle didn't really get into my vein thats why the dripping can't flow properly and it cause that problem there. I was like, Alamak... Later kena poke with needles again. I had to wait for doctor to come and inject me in the middle of the night. Shall I say at 2 am?!! Everyone is asleep in the ward and I had to wait for another poking. So much for the waiting. In the end, the doc also can't find my vein and let me tell you, there was once she forgot to untied the glove on my hand and alot of blood spilt out. Great!! Blood donation time!! -_-''

The next day one smart doctor manage to poke it. I don't know how she done it. All I know is that she injected me with a painkiller 3 times and the next thing the needle were in my vein and dripping started to flow properly.

So, today is my PAIN day. Why? Because today I had to go to NUH to take my medicine. Dripping method. It was a countless needles poking. It takes 5 doctors to find my veins. When they found one vein, it ran away. One doctor even tried finding vein on my feet and poke it with needle. Wah piang!! The pain is like no mercy. It is so weird if you doing dripping on your feet. I told my mother about it and she was shocked. She never heard people doing dripping on the feet usually it is in the hand, wrist or arm. I said to my mother that luckily it is not in the ass. Guess what? I even kena poke in my palm's hand!!! The pain was so painful. I was crying with my body shaking so hard that she had to abandon it halfway. She had to call an ICU specialist doctor on whether that person can find my veins for the last 2 times and if can't, the dripping method must be cancel. To shorten the story, nope, she too can't find my veins. You see, how much suffer I had to go through and how much blood I loss with all the unsucessful poking. My hand, wrist, arm and feet have plasters!!!

Since the dripping method was cancel in my medical records, my specialist spoke to my mother about it and the doctor decided to give me tablets but there's risks to it. That is women who is in their 30s and above who take this tablet, will have an early menopause (End of menstruation.) Women that are younger have a lower risks. When doctor explain to me about the side effect, my heart just break. She said that this medicine may cause problem to my ovary and may not start a family. I was upset. I want a baby and start a family in the future!! My mother told me that having a baby is in God's hands. She told me to think positive. Even some healthy women can't have baby.

Oh well, right now... I have to concentrate on my studies because I am in a challenge now!! Rooooaaaarrr!!! You heard me. CHALLENGE!!! I have to beat that YX's GPA score!!! The 3 elements YX gave to me are stuck in my brain. Gonna kick his ass. I CAN BEAT HIM IN STUDIES!!! I can beat him in Secondary School, why not in ITE? (Eventhough he is in Poly right now.) I CAN WIN YX...!!! ROOOOAAAARRRR~~~!!!!

2007-04-29T01:54:00.000+08:00

Finally I am fit to go back to school on 25 April. It was nerve wrecking to enter the class while everyone is staring at you and whisper, "Eh, a new student siak".

Aiyo, I feel like rolling my eyes. Me, a new student in MacPherson? Please lah. I'm a veteran in that school. Chey... Like action like that... I can even close my eyes while walking in that school (Like real only). HAHA! Stuck in MacPherson but with a twist. That is I get access pass to use the school lift...!!!!!!! Due to my medical problem. No SW lesson and standing in the hot sun while having fire drills. If any of my classmates want to take the lift me, I quickly shut the lift door. HAHA!!

Ok, I find that my MMT class is alright. This time there are more girls than boys. Some guys are mature and some are not. Freaking nonsensical. On my first day of lesson, a group of guys in my class kept talking dirty aloud. Hearing it once or twice is alright but they just kept going on and on. Pervertic. Anyway, while the lecturer call out our names to marked attendance, she mispronounced one guy's name. I got no choice but to laugh because the pervertic group made it even worse.

Pervert guy A: "Eh, did the teacher call his name Goncang? (Shake. As in dirty shake on those pervertic's minds.)

Pervert guy B: "I heard like Old Chang Kee".

-__-''

HAHA!! Lame...

Bye. Goodnight.

A new day has come

2007-04-22T17:20:00.000+08:00

An old song that you are listening right now gave me the semangat (strength).

I want to see myself smile as wide as this.

Me and my nephew.

A New Day Has Come

I was waiting for so long

For a miracle to come

Everyone told me to be strong

Hold on and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times

I knew I'd make it through

And the world thought I had it all

But I was waiting for you

Hush now

I see a light in the sky

Oh, it's almost blinding me

I can't believe

I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears

Let it fill my soul and drown my fears

Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

A new day has... come

Where it was dark now there's light

Where there was pain now there's joy

Where there was weakness, I found my strength

All in the eyes of a boy

Hush now

I see a light in the sky

Oh, it's almost blinding me

I can't believe

I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears

Let it fill my soul and drown my fears

Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

A new day has...

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears

Let it fill my soul and drown my fears

Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

A new day has... come

Ohhh, a light

Hush now

I see a light in your eyes

All in the eyes of the boy

I can't believe

I've been touched by an angel with love

Wish me lucks...

2007-04-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

At first when I was having an appointment with my doctor on 5 April, I don't wanna tell her that I have problem with swallowing food but because of my health, I have to tell her. I told her that whenever I ate, I can't swallow food normally. It gets stuck and I have to try and swallow hard to get that food down to my stomach. I can't finish up my food and sometimes vomit the food that I ate. Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room is getting serious. Doctor checked my blood pressure and my heart beats. She wrote down some notes on my NUH health documents and said that she will be back for awhile because she wanna discuss with the Professor on whether to give me some medicine.

A couple of minutes, she went in the room. She said that she will give me medicine for 1 week, start weighing my weight and admit me to ward on Monday, 9 April. I was scared. Mother asked her for how long am I gonna be in the hospital. Doctor answer that its gonna take 2 or 3 days and if it is serious, its gonna take a longer days. She explained more on what gonna happen to me when I'm admit. I was half listening. Some of the words can't absord in my brain. I was fill with fear. I keep thinking on how the doctors gonna check my throat. Went outside and the nurse check my weight and the scale read 77 kg. Told my mother about my weight and she said that alot of weight that I've lost and I was like, really? I didn't too aware of it because I have no appetite?? -_-''

I asked my mother about how they gonna check my throat and she answer, "I don't know. Maybe X-ray?".
What?!! X-ray?? Sure or not? I think she trying to make me feel better. I told her that I guess that doctor gonna insert some tube or whatever that have smallest camera on it deep inside my throat but I don't know whether doctor gonna put it in while I'm awake or asleep. I hope that I will be asleep because I don't wanna feel the pain. I hate staying in hospital and I don't want some needle inside me while I'm in bed. My heart beats faster as days goes by. 2 more days!! I'm so scare and I feel like crying but the tears won't drop. Ok, I will try not to be scare and keep thinking and hoping that there will be some handsome doctors and cute male nurses. Wish me good lucks and pray for me on 9 April. I hope that my stay in the hospital will not be long because school is gonna start soon!!!

*****
I am still feeling guilty because my friend was being judge in a wrong way by my father. I don't know why he said that my friend look like an Ah Beng. Does wearing a cap, normal shirt, a quarter pants and shoes, does that look like an Ah Beng?!!! Oh my god, I had to argue with my father yesterday. My friend is NOT an Ah Beng. Please lah!! You think me as your daughter wants to make friend with an Ah Beng?? He is NOT an Ah Beng, thats why I become friend with him.

Short story I'll give. Watch Mr. Bean movie at 9 pm in Jurong Point. Finish around 10.45 pm or so. I knew my father called my phone many times. Went to Mcdonald coz I'm feeling hungry and my friend and me talk and I didn't look at the time. Father called me at nearly 12 am and he scolded me and I said I will be home right away. My friend send me home and I didn't know that my father was spying. I don't know where the hell he hide. I was opening the gate to my house and I heard footsteps and it was my father. My father start his nagging. Nag!! Nag!! Nag!! He said, "I saw your friend sending you home. He was wearing a cap, right? He looks like an Ah Beng to me. Blah, blah, blah". I argue with my father. I told him that he is NOT an Ah Beng and it is my fault because I was the one that wasn't checking the time while I was eating at McDonald. My father scolded me like as if my friend and me are lovers. Please lah!! You think my friend wants me as his girlfriend?? No lah!! Anyway, I message my friend about it and he said nevermind. I don't know whether he really don't bother about it seriously. Being judge by another friends' parent in a wrong way is upsetting. I will be very upset if I am in my friend's shoes but he keeps saying nevermind, nevermind, nevermind.

Luckily, my mother didn't nag at me so much. Woke up at 4.30 pm today. Made a piss off face. I didn't talk to my father much. Still piss off. I'm still feeling guilty to my friend. If you're reading this, I'm sorry that my father judge you in the wrong way. I'm sorry.

Awesome!!

2007-03-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish the one and only cute Nisha a HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!! Stay beautiful..!! (She is beautiful, thats the fact boys!!)

5 Facts on what I love about Nisha:

She is a Joker!!!
I love her face because her face looks like a Bollywood actress. Sharp nose, pretty eyes etc.
I love her laughter. Even a hyena can't win her. HAHA!!
She's hardworking. I heard that she spend 20 hours at home blending and chopping onions. (HAHA!!)
She an open-minded girl. She love Negro. Ish, ish, ish!! I guess she love extra violence in bed. HAHAH!!

Sorry no present Nisha. You want kiss from me?? Hehe... Don't be shy...

*****

Anyway, I received this awesome news and it really makes me laugh so hard!! I had to read it like plenty of times. My first choice rejected me again and guess what?

I GOT INTO NITEC MULTIMEDIA COURSE!!!!!

I laughed so hard. That is so like cool isn't it? (Wait until school starts then I'll see how cool it is.) I think cooler than Info-Comm.

On the other hand, I'm upset that the first choice that I had appeal rejected me again. If the person that interview me just shut the fuck up about asking me to continue Higher Nitec, I guess I'll be able to get Digital Animation. If only she had just listen to my fucking story about "How my 1.236 GPA points can't make me go to Higher Nitec". That bitch won't give in. I guess she really have a problem with english or maybe that she doesn't know that the suitable points to get in to Higher Nitec is 2.5 points. Nabeh. Appeal again is also useless. Rejected again in Digital Animation. If only my first interview wasn't with that bitch.

Oh well, at least I got Multimedia. I heard that there's abit of drawing in that course? Is it? To all Ex- Multimedia students that I know, abit of info please.

At least, if I'm stress about Multimedia, I can ask for help from FIDAH!! HAHAHA!!! Or maybe YX...!! I hope that course will be awesome.

MacPherson, here I come once again!!!!!!!!!! -__-''

Shut up and read.

2007-03-09T17:43:00.000+08:00

All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL.

Nabeh...
Kanina...
Chibai...
Lancao...

I didn't get to Higher Nitec. I just knew it.

I so called scolded YX. He still can have the cheek to ask on why I didn't get to Higher Nitec. Wah!! You bitch!! My heart burning!! Feel like kicking him in to the wrestling ring and throw stones at him. Told him my GPA points are very bad and he still said that they normally just accept it and I was like -__-''

If they accept my GPA points, I would be jumping like mad, right bitch??

I feel like giving YX a choke slam and whatever wrestling moves I've seen on WWF!!! You bitch!!! ROOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!!!! Don't ask me why I love to call him, Bitch. WHAHAHA!!!

Anyway, I did appeal back for Nitec course. Did I just say appeal back Nitec course? I mean, yeah. Fuck that person who interview me. Oh, she's a girl. Can't fuck her. -__-''

I was so excited when I received ITE letter for the Nitec course that I choose. Came for the drawing test and did extremely well for it. Had to wait for the interview and when it is my turn, she said that she won't admit me because she wants me to continue my Higher Nitec. I explained to her that my GPA are not well enough to go for Higher Nitec and yet, this Trying-To-Be-Smarty-Pants lady said that she wants me to go Higher Nitec. I think she don't understand english or maybe I should spell out for her all the sentences that I just said.

"Try asking your CA to help you get to Higher Nitec. If can't try appeal again".

Yeah, right. Her talks are so easy to her. Like diamonds coming out of her mouth which is endless. Enough about that Trying-To-Be-Smarty-Pants lady that interview me.

Anyway, even my CA said she can't do anything when I received her messages in the morning. I don't blame her and I'm not angry with her. There are certain things that CA can't help students. I took her advice on appealing back that Nitec course and so I did, on the last day of the application.

I don't care if I have to repeat my 2 years in Nitec. As long as I am studying with the course that I am fond of, thats fine.

Better give me that course!!!!!!!!!

ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

-.-''

2007-03-05T14:25:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!!

I have reached Level 20 (Clubber) but with the help of my younger brother. He is so pro in this Audition game. Nothing new. He is Level 34 (Main). His ranking is Top 25. Wah!! How to beat him?? My rank is only 1101 but still can reach further if I don't abandon my game. Can't wait to reach Level 21 (Amateur). If I can reach Level 26 (Backup) as fast as I can, I will be very happy but it will be a very long way to go. -_-''

I know this is a childish game but it is to get rid of my boredom. They called it, 'The Dancing Fingers Game'. Who play Audition Sea, tell me!!!

My avatar look like -__-''

If I have enough DEN, I'm gonna buy new clothes for my avatar. Theme is Mafia. Whahaha!!!

Mafia 1

Mafia 2

Mafia 3

T_T

2007-02-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

*lookleftandright*

*screamofhappiness*

YES!!! KNN NB CCB!!! YES!! Sorry about the vulgars.

I'm so happy that today will be the last day of work for me! *scream*
But on the other hand, I feel sad because NO WORK, NO MONEY!!! *run&cry*

My mother asked me to quit that job. Sales Promoter is not my cup of tea, I guess. If its not because of my health, I think I can still carry on with my job. Stupid bones!! Why God give me weak bones that are supposedly for old people? I'm just 19 and I can't do some of the stuff that I would love to do. I can't even squat for 1 minute and if I try to sit down on the floor, its hard for me to get up again. Lifting up my legs would be a troublesome for me. I feel old in spite of my age. You guys may say, "Oh, drink more milk".

Oh yeah? You think it can cure me? Yeah right, I wish. There's more to it. I have to go for an X- ray scan for my lungs, kidney or whatever internal organs they wanna scan. Gosh, I hate myself. I'm sorry, I get too emotional while typing this. *sobsob*

I can't stand cold weather and places that are cold or else my fingers tip will turn blue but still I'm so stubborn to bring my jacket. I have difficulty bending my knuckles because my hands' skin is tighten. Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna eat at all because I can't even open my mouth widely. Gosh, I never feel so useless before. Even an old people are not as useless as me.

When I can't take the pain, I cry to myself and nobody know how tough it is for me to lead a normal life. Many times I asked God why is He doing this to me? What I had done wrong? I respected Him. I NEVER drink alcohol, I NEVER gamble and I NEVER do sex before marriage. I've done alot of prayers (But still, I need alot of revision and practice). There's still some mistakes that I've done in life but still I need an answer from Him. God is punishing me.

My mother said there's a rays of hope behind it. Well, I don't think so. I feel so useless right now. Life have no meaning for me anymore. I may be telling you that I'm doing fine or whatever but it is all a pack of lies. I'm not alright. I am forever not alright.

Scleroderma, I'm fucking HATE you!!! You gave me trouble in life since the year of 2006!! You make my bones turning like an old people!!! You make my feets swollen like a pregnant lady!!! You tighten my hands' skin and change the pigmentation!!! You make me feel old!! My joints are in pain coz of you!! You make me suffer for my whole fucking life!!!

Scleroderma is quite rare for younge age to get. It only occur to old people and the sad part is there's no cure for Scleroderma. Ya, I am old. Old for life starting from now.

Gosh, sorry people. I'm too emotional right now. My tears been flowing non-stop. I don't know who's to blame. I blame myself sometimes. I wanna blame God but I can't. My family have NO trouble in their health and it got me wondering, why me??!!! Doctor said I'm born with it. I never knew that God made my life like that. I shouldn't be angry with Him. I'll take what He gave me.

I have weak bone joints of an old person but I must think of people that have sickness that is worst than mine. For example, people with cancer or whatever. If they can lead a normal life, why can't I? Maybe I should try harder and stop thinking too much.

Gotta sleep. Gotta work later for the last time as a Sales Promoter. What the?? Now 4 am already??? Work start at 2 pm. Good Night!!!

Weird Al

2007-02-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

LOL...!! LOL...!!! LOL..!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!!

I was laughing so hard when I watched Weird Al's video on myspace.com. Like oh my god, I'm so love the way he changes every words in every songs. HAHAHAA!! Enjoy.

Weird Al - Fat
(Original song is from Michael Jackson- Bad)
The video look exactly like MJ's video!

Weird Al - Eat it
(Original song is from Michael Jackson- Beat it)
Yet, another video that is exactly the same as MJ's video.

Weird Al - Do I creep you out
(Original song is from Taylor Hicks- Do I make you proud)

Weird Al - Amish Paradise
(Original song is from Coolio- Gangster Paradise)

Weird Al - Which Backstreet Boys is gay
(Original song is from Backstreet Boys- I want it that way)

Weird Al - Like a surgeon
(Original song is from Madonna- Like a virgin)

Goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friends

2007-02-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

Today marks the day I'll be seeing my ITE classmates for the last time. Maybe it will be the last time I'll be going to ITE MacPherson because I did apply for Nitec courses and who knows I'll be stepping back into that school. I hope I get to higher nitec in Dover. My GPA is like Oh-My-God-I-Think-I'm-Gonna-Just-Jump-In-To-The-River.

Anyway, Graduation Ceremony was alright. Got to meet all my schoolmates. I received alot of compliments and guess what? They said that I've slim down and I was like, *blush*. I don't know if they really mean it but YX said that I really slim abit. HAHA! Maybe they really meant what they said. Aiyo, talked with YX not much today. Missed disturbing him. Disturb him through SMS and MSN is not enough. He's the best person to disturb. WHAHAHA!! I want to disturb him until he blow his top off! That's my mission. Hope I can complete that mission.

Everyone was dressing the same and it is tough to spot who is who. For me, I wore a long sleeve knee length black and white dress and my closest classmate thought I was like going to a Prom Night. It was easy to spot me in the crowd. Not everyone was following the dressing code. Some even wore jeans, I mean who really cares about the rules that were given to us. I love the way on how Nisha dresses. Darn... She's getting prettier!! Too bad, I'm not a guy. She said I look like Datin (Rich tai-tai). HAHA!! I swear I ain't gonna wear skirts anymore. I had trouble sitting. What I mean is I can't sit with my legs wide open abit. I had to like get my both knees together or else people will take a peek on my panties and I don't want to be responsible for their horny-ness. Thank you very much. Believe it or not, that today also marks the day that I wore skirt for the "first time" in 2 years. The last time I wore a skirt was way back in Secondary School. That was like in year 2004. I do love wearing skirts in my Secondary School's life. When came to ITE, I wore long pants and it was love at first touch and from then on, we were unseparable. I just remember that I once try to wear skirts in ITE and it was a Please-Shoot-Me-In-The-Head situation. What was I thinking?? From then on, I never touch that skirts and I sold it to Fidah. HAHA! I wonder what I'm gonna wear when school re-open.

Before leaving the school, I asked for a hug from my Class Advisor and her voice change like in any minute she's gonna cry. Luckily, she never cry or else, both of us will be crying. Before I went to that ceremony, I swore that I'm not gonna cry for the graduation and I've pass that mission! Miss Evangeline, I'm gonna miss you! Mahal Kita! ( I love you in Phillipines language.)

*kiss everyone that have been reading my blog.. Muackss!!*

2007-01-28T00:41:00.000+08:00

What the fuck...

It's been a long time that I didn't update. Been busy with work and I think in any minutes now, I'm gonna faint. I think I'm running a fever. Serve me right. Never bring umbrella when it's raining, never eat enough during break (eat only 1 Old Chang Kee's currypuff. What can I do? All I want to do is sleep.) and never eat for the rest of the hours when reach home already (Eat? Don't even have the mood to eat at home. Sleep is better!!).

Today after work, met up with Fidah to go home together. Reached Jurong Point, she treats me Double cheeseburger which actually I don't want to eat but since she bought it for me, I have to appreciate it and eat it. Fidah, thanks alot you know... Ever since after work when sometimes we went home together, you always treats me food. I'll treats you back. Now, I'm in the money crisis zone. I, myself don't even have enough money to eat during break time. Everytime eat currypuff Old Chang Kee until I'm sick of it. I also go to work, use my mother's EZ Link (For weekends only). HAHA!! I love using my mother's EZ Link because its GIRO- LINK. It will automatically add value to the Ez link. Adult fare sucks!!! I want my student fare back!! Sigh... Having school holidays, no student fare lor..

I'm freaking bored with Paya Lebar already. For the last 2 years, went to school alight at Paya Lebar. Now, part-time work at Parkway Parade also alight at Paya Lebar. Bloody staircases... Reach Parkway, kena use overhead bridge. Go back to Paya Lebar MRT, also kena use overhead bridge. Wah piang lah!! Both of my muscle thighs can't take it lah... I can't even lift my legs. Chibai lah... When the fuck will my thighs' muscle be alright? Since last year its been like this!! Only nearly 2 weeks of working and I feel like giving up. Must endure!! Semangat!!!

I'm such a complain queen.

Goodnight.

2007-01-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

I was surfing the net when out of a sudden, I started to hum to this song that I have not been listening and singing to that song for so long. The longer I hummed to that song, tears start to developed into my eyes because I've remember the song's lyrics. Very sad lyrics.

(Pause the background music if you wanna listen to Rascal Flatts. LOL)

What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it overI would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Goodnight.

2007-01-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

I miss going out with my best friend!! Fidah...!! So sorry that this week I've been busy with work. Eventhough you chatted and message me when I'm having work or break but still, without seeing you is like not having a best friend at all. Not to forget that today, YX also message me when I'm freaking bored at work. Seriously, I've been using too many SMS. Once if there's no customers to save me from the boredom, my fingers will be eager to press every keypads on my phone to message people. I hope the phone bill will not be an Oh-My-God-I'm-Gonna-Get-A-Scolding experience. Enough about work. Finally, I get 2 days off.

Anyway, I was drooling all the way and can't keep my mouth shut when I watched Rain 'I'm Coming' video. OMG! I just want to pinch his ass and touch him everywhere until he moan with pleasure! HAHAHA!! His dancing makes me go, "Yeah baby!! Show me more!". But to some disappointment, he's NOT half naked. I expect him to tear that black singlet that he is wearing while dancing. Anyway, I can't help but laugh at his big black sunglasses. Don't ask me, I also don't know why. I just love his 'I'm Coming' song that you are listening right now. Eventhough his body is not so muscular, I can't help but stare with drooling flowing down at the side of my mouth.

2007-01-13T00:58:00.000+08:00

Today marks the day of my younger brother's birthday!! 15 years old already~!! HAHA!!

Which remind me the time when I was 15 and it was like hey, I am getting mature. Yeah right. Came home from school, sit down and watch Kids Central. You called that mature ar? Thats what I really do when I was in my enjoyous secondary school's life. I miss that kinda of life. I was a good student. (Was I?)

I don't know what is wrong with Fidah and YX. Both of these people really remember what I did when I was in Sec 1 and 2. Every details is perfectly correct about me. They seem to like to talk my Lower Sec's life. For example: When I go out with Fidah, she ALWAYS like to recall my embarrassing life in Sec 1 and 2. She was afraid of me in Sec 1 because I behave like a gangster! HAHA!! Thats really makes me burst out laughing! I'm like a gangster?!! Like oh my god, thats really tickle me straight to the bone. Ok, I am naughty back then but compare to a gangster is really freaking me out abit. As for YX, he too sometimes talk about my embarrassing life in Sec 1 and 2. He remembered that when a teacher called me, I would answer rudely and when I was asked to tuck in my blouse, I would fold it. What really shocked me is that he remember that back in Sec 2 when I came into the class crying because of the rejection from Yanto (A chinese-Indonesian guy that I used to fall in love with). I mean wow, I didn't expect any of my classmates to know about it and when I asked him how he got to know it, he answered that when I was crying, he asked me what happen but I didn't answer. (HAHAHA!) So, he asked another of my classmates what had happened to me. Such a nosey guy! HAHA! Get this, I'm such a bad classmate because all this while in Secondary 2, YX sat next to me in class and I don't even know it until last year he said that he sat next to me and I was like, "Huh?? Really??". Seriously, I don't even know. Moreover, I don't even know how YX looks like in Sec 1 and 2 and he remember about what I've gone through in Sec 1 and 2. Gosh, I'm such a bad ex-classmate. HAHA!! I only notice him during Sec 3 and 4. So funny, separate class already then I noticed him. Anyway, Fidah and YX always trying to make me embarrassed and laugh out loud about myself back then. If the three of us get the chance to go out and chit chat, I hope they don't recall Secondary School's life especially Sec 1 and 2. So.... embarrassing.
***

Message for Nisha:

Blacks' Dicks??!!!!! Amaury Nolasco makes you mad, sweat and wet when he done a "bed scene" with his gf in Prison Break???!!! OMG!! YOU ARE SO CHEEKY!! What the hell is Norman KRU doing in your 9 Jan entry?? He's not even a black man! He don't have black dick unless you paint it black lah! WHAHAHAHA!!! Ish ish ish.... Nisha, kau sentiasa horny since the school holidays begun!!! By the way, you forgot Akon and Ne-Yo!! They are meant for you! HAHAHA!! Gatal...

2007-01-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

I think it is time for me to update my blog, isn't it?

Since it's still school holidays for us, no excitement been happening lately. Aww... kids started their school already. Time really fly so fast and I just realised that my younger brother had to wear long pants in school. Wow, he's in Sec 3 now and he is turning 15 years old on 13 January. Getting older and getting so.....TALL!!! I don't know what he eats. Get this, at the age of just 15, he is already 181 cm tall and he is definitely getting taller and taller as days goes by. The tallest person in my family. Even my father can't win him. All of us have to look up and talk to him. 2 more years in Secondary school and he will be heading to Polytechnic. Wah, by that time my younger brother heads to poly, I will be 21 already. Yeah!! Freedom!!

I read Nisha's blog and Nisha, if you are reading this, I got a message for you:
Wei..!! Ambik gambar dengan bende Sisha tu pun boleh imagine buat "blowjob"??? Siao ar you! Gatal eh kau nak tackle Azroy! Orang tua director tu jugak kau nak tackle. Aiyoo.... dier pangkat datuk tak pe lah... WHAHAHAHA!!! Tapi badan dier baik kan?? No wonder kau memang gatal. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Anyway, chatted with YX on MSN. Start chatted with him at 2.05 am until 3.36 am. At that time my nick was, "Is it true if a woman swallow sperms, she will have good skin complexion?? Eewww.... Disgusting!!". People, what do you think? Is it true? I find it disgusting. I mean sperms are meant to swim in the vagina. NOT in the mouth!!! I don't know why many people said that by swallowing sperms, you will get a good skin complexion but only one brave person that said it is NOT true. That person is YX. He said, "You see porn where got all the girls got good complexion?". HAHA!! What a clever statement!

YX is being lame. He said that porn are good for noobies and there's a meaning behind the word, PORN.

Lame conversation

ME: Are you a noob?

YX: No. You know porn stands for what?

ME: Tell lei... you're the expert in porn. (AS IF. HAHA!!)

YX: Please Over React Noobies. That's why good for noobies. Once they see it then they got over reacted.

-.-''

This guy is just being lame. Over reacted when watching porn is so NOT the right word for it. Masturbation is the right word. HAHA! Enough about porn later you all get horny.

2006-12-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

2 more days and goodbye 2006!! Selamat tinggal 2006! Sayonara 2006! How to say goodbye in mandarin??

Can't believe that I will be turning 19 next year. Like weird like that. The number is getting bigger and bigger. I wish that my breast is getting bigger too. HAHA!! Sigh... Then it will hit 25... Aiyoo, getting old already and I don't know whether that age, I will be getting marry or not. Maybe I will be a bachelorette. Imagine 35 years old already, aiyooo.... wrinkles starts to develop. Time really fly fast and we don't even know for how long we can live in this world.

My New Year's Resolution

Get a good job.
Starve myself. (I want my hips bone and shoulder bones to be protruding. HAHA!!)
Get a boyfriend. (HAHA!! Siao ar...)
Try not to forget my closest friends.
Exercise more.
Stay healthy.
Stay virgin until I get marry. =)
MUST be mature. (HAHA!)

What yours?

By the way, my exam GPA result sucks like cock!!! Why am I not soaring like I used to? Am I the only ex-westwoodian in ITE Macpherson that can't soar?? Sigh... Like chibai sial... Macam nak bunuh diri siak but I don't want my old habit to come back. Fuck off cigarettes and panadol. Commit suicide is a big NO.

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE TO ALL MY DARLINGS FRIENDS!!

2006-12-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

My date with Fidah is finally over. How do you like it, honey? HAHA!!
One word: TIRED...!!!!

First up, went to Clementi to had my eyebrows thread. Before reaching there, there's this one chibai aunty in bus 99. I don't mean to be rude here but that aunty is worst than me. Chibai...!! I was in front of the exit bus door. On my left is Fidah and on the right is that aunty. The bus stop and I thought she is not gonna alight at the bus stop because she didn't move at all. Suddenly, I felt a hand pushed at my waist and it was that chibai aunty's hand. Chibai... That fucking old chibai don't know how to say 'Excuse me' is it??!!! As she got down from the bus, she stared at us with anger in her eyes. Fuck pig lah aunty!!! Whats the use of God giving you a mouth and voice?!! As if that chibai aunty got gold in her pathetic mouth! If I am the type of person who want revenge, I should get out of that bus and bitch slap that aunty's face! She thinks she look pretty with that disgusted looks she gave us!! My middle finger are so eager to show her straight in her face!! That old chibai really needs to go for 'How-To-Say-Excuse-Me' course!! I can't stand rude aunties!! Doesn't mean they are older than us, they can treat teenagers with disrespect!!! Everybody needs respect!! Enough about that aunty, she's a hag..!!

Went to Bugis. Accompany Fidah bought her stuff and her boyfriend's birthday present (Levi's jeans!! Siao ar!!!). If I have a boyfriend, I'll give him a sewing machine on his birthday. Ask him to sew jeans/ boxers/ G-string himself. HAHA!! Note to Fidah: I want expensive high heels!!! Just joking, darling!! *KissKiss*

I miss YX!! I demand 80% discount if I ever shop at your working place!! Bluek!!! =)

Korean songs

2006-12-15T03:14:00.000+08:00

Ever since I play Audition SEA game, I begin to fall in love with all the songs. (Some songs are so outdated.) Finally, I level up to level 15 in Audition!! Gotta aim for the next level. Here are some that I totally fell in love with!!

Click B - Undefeatable

Jewelry - Superstar

M. Street - The One For Me

S#arp - 100 Days Prayer

Update

2006-12-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

Like oh my god!! There are alot of mixture feeling that I'm having right now. Its like vodka + chilli + candy + blahblahblah. I get so high from all the fun especially on 12 Dec.

Ok, lets start from the beginning.

11 December
It was FL0501M's (my class) BBQ at Downtown East and whoa, we definitely ate alot. Not all of our classmates attend the BBQ. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I think about 30 people came and of course, Ms Evangeline came and she wore this cute mini shorts. If I am Paris Hilton, I would say "Thats Hot".

Ms Evan didn't ate that much because she wanna maintain her body until she gets marry this month~!!!! Yeah!! She's gonna tie a knot!! I wonder how many carat is her diamond ring...

Ok, I was sitting alone with her and suddenly, she said that she will be going back to Phillipines this coming Friday and I was like, huh? Why?

Thats when she told me that she going back to prepare for her wedding. If I'm not wrong she's getting marry on 29 December. Wow, she going back to Phillipine so fast. Since I am a nosey parker, I asked her who is the lucky guy thats gonna marry to her and she replied, Mr. Eduardo (Erm... I don't know if I spell his name correctly.)

I was so excited that I said,

ME: So, its true that they say that you and him are together?

EVAN: Yes.

Wow, they really looks good with each other. Hmm... I still remember that last year, I asked her whether she and Mr. Eduardo are an item and she said no. I guess, she wanna kept her relationship profile low. HAHA!! Awww... Finally, she's getting marry.

Whats really tickles my bones is that when Fahmie said, "Have a great sex!!" to her before she went into the taxi and we were like laughing hell.

Anyway, BBQ was over and went back to the chalet. Only 7 people overnight including me. Some of my classmates did stay overnight but not in the room. They stay up all night at the BBQ pit. Slept at 4 am and damn, I can't even sleep. First of all, the room was cold as ice and secondly, 3 boys snore!! Wah!! Loud as hell...!!! How to sleep like that?!

12 December
Woke up at 8 am and getting ready to head down to Wild Wild Wet. At first, I don't wanna go but oh well, people keep changing mind (Since its free tickets anyway). Whats really bother me is that I can't get to see all the lifeguards clearly!!! Why the hell must I wear spec? Blame myself for not taking good care of my eyes. Sigh... All I can see is the shape of the lifeguards' body. Wow!! Muscular, tan and of course, tall...!! *DROOL*

Anyway, the 6 of us (Marcus not included. Due to his work event that's also in Downtown) took the family slide and I thought it was not gonna be scary but when we try it....SCREAM!!!!! Fucking fast and I kept closing my eyes. The impact is like you really wanna fall out of the thing. 6 of us were screaming together like as if we were having a screaming contest. HAHA!! Ok, the second time we took the slide again, I feel like vomitting and of course, I closed my eyes. They kept telling me to open my eyes and I did try to open it but then closed it back. Its a good thing that we took it the second times because the lifeguard that were on guard below the slide were freaking muscular and he have a big tattoo on his right side of his back. I don't know how his face or his tattoo looks like. Sigh... Should have bring my contact lenses.

13 December
Goodbye Downtown East and hello home!! Got sunburned and I did have fun!!! Whoa!!!! Kinda feeling tired and gotta top up my energy for 1 week, I guess.

2006-12-05T13:17:00.000+08:00

Wah lao....

It's already 2 days of school holidays and I felt bored. I'm still waiting for an important call but my phone seems to be not ringing. Fed up!! Feel like switching my phone off!! Anyway, several hours earlier, I was holding a water hose in my bathroom and I had the worst shocked in my life!! A small baby lizard crawl at the side of my left thumb and I was like, eewww!!! Get the fuck off!!! I shook my hand and the lizard dropped on the floor. I was numb and terrified. I hate lizards!!!!

Today is actually my Java retest but I did not went for it. Due to overslept. Retest started at 8 am but I woke up at 10.30 am and moreover, the retest ends at 11 am. Here I am, blogging all the way and didn't revise for my major exam tomorrow. Seriously, I can't seems to get the things that I study into my head. Basic stuff about ICT? I, myself don't even know if I really can remember about basic stuff in ICT. Wish every ICT students all the BEST for tomorrow!! After exam, you all can go on with all your wild and nonsensical stuff. HAHA!! Those of you that wanna go clubbing, don't get too tipsy.

"Teen drinking is very bad". - Tipsy, J-KWON. (Love that song!!)

Drink plain water and milk is good for you!!!
*****

To those of my friends that know me, do you find that I am rude?

YX said that I am rude. (I know he don't mean it.)

It started like this... Once upon a time, I was chatting with him in MSN and once in awhile, I get frustrated chatting with him. Sometimes I type so much, he reply "......."

You like or not if you type so much and that person just put,

......
......
......
......
......

Irritating right? That person might not as well type anything!!! Thats when I blew my top at YX. I said to him, "Dots your arse lah" and he reply that I am rude.

Well, what can I say? All I can say is that I am rude. So what? As if everybody is polite. Are you that polite??

I know YX don't mean what he say but I took it seriously when my close friends give me comments or whatever. Am I such a drama queen???

Oh well, I'm off now and I can't wait for 11 December!!! Overnight and BBQ chalet!!!

Crying Out Loud

2006-12-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

Fruit basket! I missed the Girls Out Loud on Channel 5!!!!! NO!!!! This isn't happening!!!! 1 minute, I reminded myself to catch it and the next thing I knew, I totally forgot it. Only when I was in the shower then I remember it. By the time I got out of the bathroom, it was 10.30 pm!!! *slap myself*

Oh well, I hope that some kind soul out there will upload the first episode of Girls Out Loud on You Tube. Arghh... How can I be so forgetful??!!! I wonder what Ros and Xia Xue (Wendy) talked about on their show. Did any of you guys watch it just now?

-.-''

2006-12-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

Why is everyone so upset about graduation? Relax people. You can still keep in contact if each and everyone plays their part. If one wants to do so but the other one don't, might as well don't keep in touch. Easy. Take out your phone and just delete that person's number. See that person on the street, just ignore. HAHA!! Sounds rude, doesn't it?

I still remember the time when I was graduating from secondary school and I was crying like hell. Think back about it and I was like, why the fuck did I waste my tears about graduation? Its not like some of the teachers die or anything. I looked silly when I cry. Duh... I laughed at myself when I recalled those memories. WHAHAHA!!

So, to those of my friends that feel sad about graduation or what-so-ever. PLEASE DON'T. All of us are just leaving school. NOT the world. (That will be a different story.)

Relax people. In fact, you guys should run around naked in school. (How about doing that during Exam result's day??) How about we gather all of our school uniform, burn it at the foyer and do African's dance with Numa Numa's song?? Nu ma nu ma iei~~

Right now, I don't feel any sadness about leaving my classmates or what-so-ever because whats there supposed to be sad? For me, its simple. To those that treat me as an outcast, I will NOT keep in touch. Let our story ends at MacPherson ITE. Those that makes me laugh and help me alot, I will definitely keep in touch. Like I said, Everyone has to play their part in order to keep that friendship alive. I will miss Ms Evangeline. Totally and definitely miss her. For 2 years she've been my Class Advisor and the best, I tell ya!! She helped me through alot of things.

These are the dates that I can't wait!! 11, 12, 13 December!! 3 days overnight chalet at Downtown!!! Why am I not excited about my exam that is coming in about 3 days??? Shrug.

***
Chatted with YX yesterday. He said he wanna let me watch his school project's video and I was so eager to watch it but he said later. What the fuck?!!! I told you, his later is like 10 years later!! Confirm one!!!

Oh well, he send me this funny plus abit of sad video commercial that I can't stop laughing. The commercial was very creative. I took the initiative to find it at You Tube for you guys to watch. Click on the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlRqbghtS-o

Yawn~

2006-11-25T05:10:00.000+08:00

I know you guys must be thinking that I no need to go to sleep because it is already 5 in the morning. Oh well, it is Saturday after all and I'm gonna sleep like there is no tomorrow. I've been staying up late just to edit my blogskin and it took me 5 hours to do this shit. Finally, it is done! Nice or not? Better say it nice before I run mad! HAHA! I don't know why I love to choose the color white and black for my blog. Maybe it is simply.

Ok, this week of school is like better with the mix of shits.

Monday, 20 Nov 2006.
Is there any lesson on that day or did I come to school? Eh? How come I don't remember?? -.-''

Tuesday, 21 Nov 2006.
This is the day that I nearly want to have a bitch fight with my Java teacher. At first, I didn't know that a few of my classmates got locked out of the room because they came in late and they had to stand outside like a primary school students. A few minutes later, that Java let them in. I came at around 9 am and I thought that everything was normal but it wasn't. When I came in, she said, "This one is also another one" and I was like what the fuck?

I just sat down on my seat and switched on the computer. She gave me this bitch looks at me and I was like keep saying what the fuck in my heart so many times. She said, "Why are you late? Traffic jam is it? Overslept?" (Her voice at that time sounds disgusted to me.)

Do you think I want to answer her freaking questions? No way. I ain't gonna answer that. I just kept messaging on my phone and she just kept waiting for my answers. HAHA!!

After she proceeded to whatever she had to do, one of my classmates said that I am lucky when the time I came to class that the door isn't lock. He told me everything thats been happening before I went to class and I was like what the fuck? If I was the one that got lock out, I break the freaking glass' door.

Another 2 of my classmates really got locked out of the room. They came at 9.30 am and they completely can't get in. That was the day that we really been treated like prisoners.

Worst day ever. Came home and the next thing I knew, I was sick. Fever!!!

Wednesday, 22 Nov 2006.
Had fever again. Stupid. Can't stay in bed because I had to go to school for the project roadshow. Went to school with YX. Obviously, late.

Thursday, 23 Nov.
Speech in the morning with all the ICT and MMT students. The best part I love is laughing like mad when they show all the ICT's and MMT's class photos. I've seen my class photo but I was not in there, due to something on and I've seen YX's class photo and I was like HAHAHAHAAHA!!! when I see his face. Look like clown without the curly red Macdonald hair. Too bad he missed it because he came in late. His face always late. I think he is worst than me. Think so lah. HAHA!! Seen Fidah's and Nisha's class photo. After the fun part is over, the rest is boring.

Went home with YX. Before that I had to wait for him for like 20 minutes. Why am I always the one that had to wait for him???!!! Oh well... HAHA!!

Friday, 24 Nov.
No lesson...!! Who the fuck want to go for Java extra lesson?? I bet only 5 people went for it.

Goodnight... Well... Actually, Good Morning...

2006-11-19T03:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, update time!!

This week school was pretty alright. Monday, no lesson. Due to group 2 phase test. (By the way, I passed my class phase test!!) Tuesday, I skipped school. (Troublemaker as always.) Wednesday was alright. Thursday was great because I came to lesson for awhile and then I'm off leaving my classmates having their lesson. Friday, no lesson. Saturday??? My life filled with boredom!!! Nobody wants to accompany me to go out and have fun. All of my friends were either busy with their projects (MMT students) or work. Oh well, can't blame them, can I? Shit, I think I should get myself busy because 2 more weeks to examination for the ICT. Correct or not? -.-''

Freaking boring.... Even this blog is getting boring soon. Whahahahaha!!! Lame....

Stupid...!!!!

2006-11-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

I hate NON-professional, inconsiderate, rude, stupid, faggot, muttafucker drivers!! Seriously, certain drivers are like fucking bloody Don't-Know-What-To-Describe-About-Them!!! I am fucking pissed with this fucking driver that drove a blue small lorry!! Kanina!!

As usual when I want to go to school, I always walk from my house to the interchange. I am always careful about crossing the road because some drivers are stupid. They don't even know the road rules and regulation. I don't understand on why they actually passed their driving license. Don't know why these kind of driver like to speed too much! Stupid fag!! If you want to speed, quit your job and work as a car racer on a very appropriate road track!! NOT on a road where the people cross everyday!!

Thank God that I am safe from being "knock down". I am always extra careful when crossing the road. Always remember to stop and look for incoming vehicles!! REMEMBER!! Anyway, as I saw a lorry drove towards the zebra crossing, I stop at the path and I expect the lorry to stop since it is a zebra crossing but the muttafucker middle-aged man driver did NOT stop!! Fucker!! Eat shit and die of whatever illness!!! Stupid driver!!! Moreover, he was speeding!!! Kanina!!! Obviously, that cockless driver didn't know anything about driving. When it comes to zebra crossing, the driver should slow down and stop so that the pedestrians can cross the road but this faggot man fail to do so. Fuck!! When I was standing on the path and feeling stunned, this bloody driver still can look at me as if he's done nothing wrong!! I feel like showing him my middle finger!! Make that double middle fingers!! Pissed off!! I should have write down his vehicle's plate number and make a report to the police. This kind of driver should be suspended from driving!!! I hope this fucking cockless inconsiderate stupid man fall off from the staircase, chair or whatever!!! Really pissed me off to the max!!! What if I didn't look out for incoming vehicles just now, I'll be hospitalised or sayonara to the world. I should pat myself on the back for being the most careful pedestrian. *PAT*

Update

2006-11-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

Like oh my god! Its been like forever that I had neglected my blog and I totally need to update it. Let see whats been happening this week.

Monday (30 Oct)
Nothing much happening actually. School was pretty boring as usual and obviously, school ended at 11 am. Cool huh? 8 am to 11 am but it felt like wasted especially if your lecturer never teach anything or whatever. Actually, there is something happened when school ended. I took bus 157 from Toa Payoh to went back home. I was sleepy and everything went smooth until one irritating guy sits behind me. He was drinking his Pepsi and was burping so loudly! He didn't even say, "Excuse me". Freaking rude donkey's ass. If I'm not wrong, he burped 10 times. Like shit! Moreover, his burping is freaking loud and I bet that everybody that is sitted on the double-deck bus can hear it loud and clear. I think that guy really have no sense of shame and I don't understand why he felt so proud of burping out loud. I felt so irritated by it that my hands were ready to give his head a little slap! Just imagine how shock he will feel if I give his head a little slap. HAHA!! Next, a group of teenagers came and they were alright except for one. I don't know why the fuck he went clipping his fingernails in the bus and moreover, it is a public place for goodness sakes!! I know that clipping your fingernails is for hygiene purposes BUT you don't clip it in public places! Imagine his stubborn fingernails went flying around and stuck in people's hair or even a person that sleep with his or her mouth wide open. Ewww!! Ok, the worst part, as the bus went by to the next bus-stop before Princess Elizabeth Primary School, the bus broke down. Wah!! Got out and took bus 174. -.-''

Tuesday (31 Oct)
Nothing fun.

Today (1 Nov)
Happy Birthday to my mother!!!!

School was fine and not so boring. Full of laughter and free food. Whahaha!! I got up late and obviously, late for school. Came in class just in time to check my overall attendance.

SW - 85%
J2ME - 85% (If I'm not wrong.)
NWA - 87.50%
PROJECT - 95%

Missed alot of lesson because of my appointment with the doctor / check up. Tomorrow I will be on leave for my 2nd lesson!!

After school went to Orchard with Saedah. She treats me ice-cream and coffeebean!! Whoa!! It was raining heavily in Orchard. Sigh...

Shall update soon.

Selamat Hari Raya!!

2006-10-25T21:52:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada orang yang puasa atau tak puasa terus (Ish ish ish...).

Celebrating Hari Raya yesterday was great! Especially if you are looking forwards to all the green packets. To my friends that celebrating Hari Raya, how much money you get? Confirm small amount right because we are getting older and wiser.

For me, I got $79. I'm still waiting for my father to give me $100. So, its gonna be $179 in total. What am I gonna do with that amount of money? SHOPPING, of course!!! Actually my mother wants me to give her the money so that she can keep it in my bank account and I was like, No way!! I need that money because I want to buy something and moreover, I'm a girl. Girls can't live without shopping. My younger brother interrupted the conversation. He ask me to go and marry a rich guy lah and I was like, do I care about marriage now?? -.-''

So anyway, first house visit was at my grandmother's house. My family was the third to arrive there. Most hot topic was about me, I guess. Everybody said that obviously I've been losing alot of weight. I ate quite alot yesterday and my parents kept reminding me to control my eating. Seriously, I can't control it because the medicine that I take every morning really gain my appetite. Troublesome!!! Right now while typing, I am still hungry. In fact, I just ate. I nearly got scolded from my mother.

Mother's usual nagging:

"If you are still hungry, you have to eat fruits instead of adding more food on your dish and if you can't control your eating habits, nobody can help you except yourself and remember what the doctor said...!!! If your weight is getting bigger than usual, it gonna affect your knees joint!!".

Sigh... I've been hearing this nag so many times until I lost count. But seriously, I really gotta control my unusual gain appetite because fasting month is over already. If only my doctor didn't give me medicine that make me gain my appetite... Sigh... Also the same what... Give or no give, I still have to control my eating. HAHA!!

Oh ya, today went for my check up at NUH. Today was full of people at Clinic D. Usually not that pack with people at Clinic D but today is pack. Took blood test today. So, sick of it man. With the neeedle poke into my vein and blood flowing into 2 tiny tubes but still, I don't dare to look at my own blood. Eh how come at NUH don't have any young hot and handsome male doctors and male nurses???? Where they been hiding?? I still remember in the year 2002 when I was warded in the hospital because I injured my feet, I had a male nurse that took care of me!! He is so cute and handsome!! Yummy hor.... Oh ya, his name is Jackson. Hey!!! I still remember his name!! Oh my god!! But too bad, now I can't remember his face. Only his name. HAHA!! So yea, I guess if you want to see young male nurses, you have get ward in hospital. So, what are you waiting for? Play skateboard or bicycle or whatever and force yourself to fall and "break" your hands or legs or whatever. HAHA!

Skipped school today and welcome back it again tomorrow. Sigh... -.-''

Still planning on when to go for shopping. Yippy!!

2006-10-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

Hello my little darlings...

Skipped school today. Seriously, after I ate my meal for my fast and went to bed, I can't really get up for school. Mother woke me up at 10.40 am and ask me to get ready to go for our facial appointment. Wah... So lazy sia!! Drag my ass from my comfy queen size bed and went out of my room.

Today facial was Diamond Peel. It actually a tube that will suck up all your dead skins. Its like your face being vacuum by a vacuum cleaner. Nice feeling actually. I spend most of the time sleeping while the beautician do her job. I was wide awake when she remove all my blackheads and whiteheads from my nose. PAIN....!!!! I had to like endure for 15 minutes of suffering but I just love the cold mask she applied. I nearly pee because first of all, the mask is cold and the room is damn cold. Everything is cold and I had to wait for the mask to dry for like 30 minutes. Wah... The best part is the face and shoulder massage. Bring me back to sleep and Oh-So-Relax-Baby!!

Oh ya, today me and Fidah break our fast at Gek Poh's Macdonald with YX. (HAHA!!) We got there at around 6.15 pm and it is still early. Obviously, I am freaking hungry!!!! The foods order was totally wrong. Thanks to one of the crews that obviously did NOT hear Fidah properly. Instead of giving Ice lemon tea, he or she gave Coke. Oh well, it doesn't matter because I can't stand the hunger anymore!

Anyway, I can't believe that YX said that last time he used to be afraid of dogs. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Strange but true, isn't it? The funny part was when he told us about when he was having a bath. YX ask us to guess what he saw in the bathroom. My guess were lizard but Fidah's guessing were freaking hilarious!!! Her guess were dog. -.-'' I nearly choke from laughing out loud!!! Obviously, if there's a dog in the bathroom, YX should see it in the first place. What a funny guess!! Anyway, what he actually saw is a centipede. HAHAHA!!! -.-'' YX said that he thinks that the centipede is from his neighbour. Wah... The centipede must surely be desperate to see him taking his bath. HAHA!!!

Hey, you should try this trick to your friends:

"Can I ask you a question?
What is your name?
What is your age?
What is the first question that I just ask you?"

Most people will answer, "What is your name?" (WRONG)
The first question is, "Can I ask you a question?" (If you listen properly, you won't fall for this trick.)

Ask your friends on how to pronounce this word:

M-A-S-T-E-R-B-E-D-R-O-O-M

Masterbedroom.... (Any similar word when you pronounce it?)

Answer: Masturbate Room (HAHAHA!!!)

Yawn~~~~

2006-10-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I am freaking tired right now. I swear that I'm gonna have a panda's eyes and in fact, my eyes are already puffy. Puffier than ever! Wah lao... When can I ever get a good night sleep?!! I promise myself that I'm not gonna MSN tonight. Due to tiredness but here I am, online it. Shit, isn't it? Moreover, I have to wait for YX's reply on MSN about tomorrow. Wah lao... How to go to sleep now? Wait, wait, wait, wait and more wait. I feel like strangling somebody right now!! Any volunteer to let me strangle his or her neck??? You know its very hard to put on a happy face when you are darn tired. I have to force myself with cheerful face and laughter. Well, its a good thing that I will be following my mother to Body Wellness to have our facial and body massage tomorrow. I will definitely fall asleep when the beautician do facial on my face. The best part is shoulder and arms massage. I will feel, 'Aaahhh...' Relax....

Anyway, went to school with YX. I felt so sleepy. Both of us met up late because we woke up late. Didn't talk much with him. I was too distracted by alot of guys in the MRT. This is what you get if you try to sit on the last cabin of the train. Anyway, I like the guy that sitted infront of YX. He wore Quiksilver shirt but I forgot the color of the shirt. He have goatee and he was revising his notes. Also, the guy that sitted infront me was not bad too. I think he's from ITE Simei because his uniform look kinda different. He alighted at Outram. -.-'' I think the guy with the goatee alighted at Raffles Place. Yummy hor....

First lesson today was kinda OK. Nothing much to do anyway. No wonder most of my classmates came 1 hours or 2 hours late.

Damn... I really am tired right now. Actually, there are many funny stories about today to share with you. To all the nosey parker, I'm so sorry. Its not that I don't wanna share but I'm too tired. Guess my mood swing gonna come.

wei...

2006-10-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

Wah lao...

I'm scratching my legs for like a million times because of one bloody mosquito and urgghh!! If I find that creature, I'm gonna smash it like there is no tomorrow!! Itchy...

So fast Thursday already? I forgot to update my entry about yesterday! Oh well...

Late entry (Yesterday):

School today was kinda fine because I purposely skipped the first lesson. Seriously, I had a hard time waking myself up. I setted my alarm at 10.40 am but I can't hear it. No matter how loud the alarms is, I still can't hear it. I ended getting up at 11.20 am. Nice. Rush hours but still move my ass slowly to school. At least I made it to class at 1.30 pm. Just nice. Really. Just nice for the lecturer to marked me as 'LATE'. Nice right?

That lesson was sucks to the core! None of my classmates were listening. All were like busy doing their shits. 5 moronic students including me, were having an awesome laugh! It begun with Din. I don't know why the hell he behaved like a clown. Went disturbing me and Aziz. Moreover, his laughter sound exactly like hyena! Strange but true. Payback time awaits!! With the help of Saedah's laptop video recording! Cool, huh? She recorded the scene where Din being bully by Marcus and Aziz. One of the scene really bought us with full of hyper laughter! That was when Marcus pinched Din's nipples!! HAHAHA!! Din's expression was like hilarious!! Marcus kept repeating the playback for like 100 times and we nearly cry from laughter! Lecturer don't know what to do with us because we were like too loud and out of control. HAHA!! Lesson finished at 3 pm. Came to school, sit and laugh. -.-''

You know, when I was in bus 157, heading towards home. There this one loud man who seriously never use his brain. Talked so freaking loud. Its like as if he is in his tiny little world.

His LOUD and CLEAR conversation:

"Hello?? Chris?!! Chris! Hello??!! Chris huh?!!".

"Ya, is that boy still there? You gotta watch out. If you want to do, do in the toilet".
(HAHA!! I laugh to myself!)

"No. No. You don't give this number to anyone. I just change it. My number is 927*****. You call back to see if I give you the right number".
(Stupid!!! Now everybody in the bus know his number! HAHA!!)

Weird guy.
***

Later I'm gonna go to school with YX. I should be getting some sleep now. Seriously, I've been lacking of sleeping. Hopefully, I can wake up on time later.

-.-''

2006-10-16T01:49:00.000+08:00

Should I just stick my eyelids with a super duper glue or something?? Seems to me that I can't get myself to sleep! Today is actually school re-open and I should be sleeping but no, I am wide awake! I kept tossing and turning. Roll like an idiot on my queen size bed. -.-''

Ok, when I finished my bath and helped my mother with baking, I actually felt tired but when I try to sleep at 10.45 pm, my eyes just don't wanna close! Very irritating! I tried singing myself to sleep. NO USE. Listen to the radio. NO USE. Everything no use!

By 12.45 am, I got out of bed, switched on computer and login to my MSN. Chatted with YX for awhile and ask him to record a voice clip and sing so that, who knows I might laugh and keep repeating it many times and eventually feel sleepy with it. But no, he didn't do it. He gave a 'Guys with their last minutes excuses'. He said that he don't sing well, busy, doing project, haven't finish. YX, thanks ya... Thanks for your excuses!!!!!!!!!!!!! If only my hands can get through his computer, I would strangle his neck!!!

My eyes are still wide open. I can forget about sleeping already!!!

Genting Haze-land

2006-10-08T02:09:00.000+08:00

Guess what, my friends? I am having some fun time in "Genting Highland" right now! Oh wow, the air is so "fresh" and its "cold". NOT!!! Oh my, the haze is getting worse and worse! You can even smell the haze. Bad, bad haze! I can't even see Xiao Ting's flat. Living on the top floor of the flat, you get to see the haze and urghh... this is NOT what I want to breathe first thing in the morning. Do you guys notice, there's NO birds fly up in the sky? Is it just me or did you guys notice it too? -.-''

Simply don't understand why some people love to burn forest. I know they need land to build houses or whatever but couldn't they just chop off the trees instead of burning the forest?!! They might say that chopping off trees are just waste of time. Might as well burn it. Selfish mind. If they chop off the trees, there will be no haze right now and moreover, they can use the trees that they just chop off into something useful. Don't you agree? I hope there will be plenty of rain. Rain, come on down.

HAHA! First thing that caught my eyes once I signed in to my MSN was YX's nickname. Tickle me right to the bones.

He type his nick like this:

"No appetite to eat.... PSI was 80 now 140!!!! Makes my throat hurt... Ewwwww..."

Humorous? I found that hilarious. Why? Because... Just read the nick again.
My reason on why it's so funny is because where in the hell there's a guy say the word "Ewwww...."? Most girls use the word "Ewww". I never heard a guy say the Ewww word. Only sissy say that word. HAHA!!

YX has NO appetite to eat? Aww... Whats wrong? Diet is it? -.-''

Miao miao...

Lalalala~~~

2006-10-02T15:32:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or the weather is getting hazy? Try sticking out your face out of the window and take a very deep breathe and whoa... bad weather. Too much haze. I still remember when Singapore had a very bad haze day. Wah... You can't even see the next flat. Some people had to wear this stupid mask which makes them look like Power Ranger Ninja. HAHA! -.-''

Now is the 2nd week of school holidays. Wah... Very the boring! I know some people miss me. HAHA! I didn't know that I'm so miss-able. Fidah, I know you really miss me. Sorry that I did not pick up your calls. It is either I busy playing games or silent my phone or couldn't hear anything. Don't miss me too much. Later Madu Lebah (Bee's Honey) jealous. HAHA!

Lalalala~~ Since its the school holidays, nothing exciting been happening around. Shall not blog much. Gotta wait for school reopen and boom!, more stories will be coming in. Lalalala~~

A sad ending for a cat...

2006-09-28T02:50:00.000+08:00

Today at 2.30 am, things that I just saw really brought me to tears. As I was watching Princess Hours on You Tube, I heard a bunch of dogs barking so fucking loudly that it caught most of the residents' attention. I was curious on what's happening with the commotion, I took a look at the window and to my horror, 4 big dogs savagely attacked a cat...!!!! The dogs were trying to tear the cat apart. Oh my god... It really put me to tears... The dogs continue to attacked the cat for about 5 minutes and when someone shouted, the dogs ran off except for one dog. It kept on barking at the cat for like fucking 10 minutes and fuck off to it hooligan dog members. My tears couldn't hold on any longer when the cat laying still on the path. Within 5 minutes, the cat tried to drag itself to the side slowly. The cat obviously broke it legs. Some residents rushed down to see the cat's condition but it was too late. The cat died.

This is my first time seeing a cat being attacked by 4 nasty dogs, just outside my 14-th storey window. It was sad to see that cat died.

zzz

2006-09-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

People, do you remember my previous entry, the last part that I typed, "If you choose to be choosy, you choose to be lousy". You guys get what I'm trying to say or not? If you guys don't understand, let me explain to you.

Read here and don't breathe: (HAHA!!)

What I'm trying to say is that, imagine yourself as a choosy girl or guy and your aim is to have a lover that is cute or handsome or whatever. One day, you found the one that you been aiming for and suddenly, with the power of love (If luck is on your side), you and your dream lover got together. Within a few months, you keep asking yourself if you really give your partner enough love (NOT that kind of love in bed) and if you really bored your partner with your NOT-so-good-cute-looking-looks. What really bothers you is that you scare that other guys or girls keep staring at your partner and of course, you DON'T wanna hear other people saying, "Hey, that girl's / guy's looks and figure very POWER! But how come her / his partner is fat/thin/NOT good looking/blahblahblah??!! Not very suit for each other sia!!".

If you happen to hear that kind of comment, you will start to feel lousy. Thats why I say, "If you choose to be (too) choosy, you choose to be lousy".

If you want to choose a partner, don't choose that is beyond the sky. Choose that is just 50/50.

Sometimes, I don't really understand some nonsensical people. Fat person stead with thin person, other people NOT happy! Other races stead with different races, other people also NOT happy. Good looking person stead with NOT good looking person, other people also not happy. Sigh... Why be so nosey parker and disturb their happiness? Its their problem anyway.

Everyone of us have a beautifulness deep within our soul but what really important in finding a partner is his / her character.

I'm so glad that I'm single for 18 years. No need to be stress about relationships. HAHA!!

**MUST watch Singapore Idol Finale tonight!!**

Choosy

2006-09-23T17:56:00.000+08:00

I just don't understand why some people have to be so choosy in some particular things. If you're the type of person who is very choosy then it will lead you to no where. Lets talk about guys for awhile. Ok, I did some survey with some of my guys friends and ask them, would they be choosy when its come to girls if they want her as a girlfriend? Well, most of them said that they are NOT choosy. Only 1% are choosy.

I asked one of my guys friend that is not choosy on why he don't want to be choosy when it comes to choosing a girlfriend and he simply answered, "For what I wanna be so choosy? It doesn't matter if she's not that perfect. She must have a good heart and know what things is right or wrong. To me, every girls that is created by God is beautiful". (Aawww... He's so sweet!!)

I swear I could hug him straight away! Sometimes I wish that every guy behave just like him. The-NOT-so-choosy-type-of-guy. I know that girls also tend to be choosy too. Most of the times you heard that girls would go, "Oh... I want my future boyfriend to be oh-so-sexy-muscular-man-with-big-penis and handsome as Shan Wee/Orlando Bloom/Brad Pitt/blahblahblah". (I don't like girls saying they want their man to have big penis. So what if he have a big penis?? If he's NOT good in bed then there's no use!)

Actually, girls say those kind of things because they want you to know that they have taste in men. You don't usually hear a girl say that she wants her future boyfriend to be just exactly like William Hung right? Later people will think that she got no class. William Hung is not that bad, actually. No matter how bad/good/ugly/pretty/handsome/sexy/blahblahblah you are, you will always be beautiful and handsome in your heart. For me, well... I don't know if I'm choosy or not. Thats because I never have any relationship before. Some of my friends know that I always say that policemen are hot and sexy. (HAHA!) I also don't know why I say that. Maybe I got nothing better else to do.

You know, a friend of mine that I known since secondary school, I think he is that choosy when picking up a girl. During our last MSN chat, he said to me that it is hard to find a cute virgin girl (Its true on the virgin part). I don't know why he wants to find a virgin girl. He wants to ahem ahem with her once he gets her is it???? Aiyooo uncle ah... Please lah... Is that whats your motive is?? Moreover, he wants a cute ones. Please lah my friend, nowadays men don't go for cute girls!!! Men go for sexy women!! You want cute girl right??!! I give you tips! Go find cute small girls in the nursery school lah!!! More better, find a cute girl that wear from head to toes all in pink colour. Tie her hair in pig tails and talk like so called cute-but-irritating voice!!

To him that is trying to find a cute girl, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, do you stand a chance if you want a cute girl? Some cute girls don't even bother to look at you for the second times. I feel pity for you (Am I..??).

If you choose to be choosy, you choose to be lousy (Hey! It rhymes!).

Sotong!

2006-09-20T20:20:00.000+08:00

Oh well... Today is yet another shitty school day and I thought that I was having a smooth ones. Ok, first lesson, I skipped it and damn shit, I totally hate that shitty lesson. Drag my ass off from my bed at 10.45 am and happily thought that my class re-test starts at 1 pm. But it wasn't. My classmate send me a message saying that the shitty re-test starts at 12.15 pm. The shitty lecturer change it and I was like shitty shit! I just got out of my house at 12.10 pm and why the shitty hell that lecturer changed it? Why the shit he don't wanna make up his mind about the changes? Donkey ass! Oh well, who cares? I just took my time and reached at 1.30 pm. Went into class, demanded for the shitty paper, sat down and answered the questions with NO interest. Within 10 mins, I am all done.

Went to Orchard with Shinny and oh well, nothing much at there. She told me alot of sad stories that she is very frustrated with. If I were in her shoes, I will definitely be upset and hurt. Most of the hot topics we talked about are definitely guys and of course, sex (We are always too open minded). I said to her if girls talk about sex with guys, they will think that we are "cheap" and if a girl talk about sex with another girl, people will think that both of them are "lesbians" and we were like hmm... interesting. Anyway, is it true that if a guy have sex, he will bleed too? What do you think? Some of the girls guess that they maybe will bleed at the tip of their penis (!!!!!!). I'll laugh my ass off if thats true. Shinny said that if she gets marry, she scare to make love with her future husband because of the pain. I'm also scare if I'm going to make love with my future husband. Wah... Sometimes I wish that men have vagina and women have penis. It will be fun if that really happen! Women will have the power to control men in bed and let them suffer! If men were like seahorses, women will not get worry or scare about giving birth. Men will give birth and get all this ugly stretch marks on their stomach! HAHA! If only the world is upside down, women will not get worry about stretch marks, cellulite and so many other things.

Men, we don't understand what the shit they want or vice versa. I found that if a girl fall in love with a guy, the guy will starts to be arrogant and their ego boost up. Shinny agreed with me straight away because she had that kind of experience. Once during her Secondary School's life, she fell in love with this guy for 2 years and when she stop to like him, she received a message from him saying that he wants to be with her and asked her if she have a boyfriend. Of course, she replied that she is having a boyfriend for nearly 1 year. Sigh... Guys... Once a girl have no interest in that guy anymore, they will start finding her or else, his ego will go down. As for my case, I admire this old friend of mine and oh well, I don't give a shit about it.

Sometimes I asked myself, if he purposely or didn't know that he hurts my feelings when he told me in MSN about that girl he chatted with. Maybe he forget that I admire him and thats why he told me that story. Bullshit! How can a person just forget if he or she knows that somebody admire them. I think he is freaking blur or what?!! Sotong!! This kind of story he shouldn't have told me because at that time I still admire him! You don't happily go and tell a person that really and completely fall in love with you by saying that you so called like a girl or whatsoever. How do you think that person will feel? Hurt, of course! You already know that person admire you and yet, you still tell her this kind of shitty things! Please use some brain if you want or planning to hurt somebody's feeling. Oh well, all I can say is all the best in getting that girl that he's been eyeing for. Oh ya, didn't you told me that she is like ignoring you or something??? Well, maybe thats the way to hurt you back. What goes around comes around. You hurt my feeling and if maybe she's ignoring you, oh well, you get hurt too and if she is NOT ignoring you, all the best to you.

Anyway, am I being cold shoulder towards him? I don't know. Is my attitude getting good to worst? Oh well, all I can say is SHIT. Gotta stop falling in love with him.

2006-09-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

Today gonna skip school.
Wednesday must come to school. Class re test.
Thursday and Friday gonna skip it again!

And welcome the 3 shitty weeks of school holidays!!!

What a lame and sickening and short entry. Shit.

Shit

2006-09-18T04:12:00.000+08:00

Good morning... I ain't sleeping... I feel like shit today. Haven't even go to school but I feel kinda shit. I don't even know if I want to go to school later. I just feel like crying in my bed and just lay down there and forget about this world.

Chatted with him on MSN. He told me about something and made me cry. Jealous!! Jealous!! Jealous!! Jealous!! Jealous!! I don't like it at all. Not even a single bit. Is this what I get for falling in love with him for 3 years since secondary school???!!!! Is this what it is??????!!!!!!! I should have forget about him since the day I know that I wouldn't get him to be my guy but this stupid bloody shitty piece of me won't listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shall not blog much. Feel like shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT....!!!

And to you, all the best in wooing that girl you told me......

You shouldn't have told me this kind of thing since you knew that I admire you.
But too bad, you already told me this shit.

Maybe this is the time to forget about him but how can I forget him????? Its not that easy kind of shit...!!!!!

You have to be open minded to read this

2006-09-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

Sunday is the most boring day ever. Even though it is a weekend but it still sucks to the core. The first thing I woke up at 11.50 am, my mother started to nag at me. Wah... This is not the best thing I want to hear in the morning. I rather hear a bird chirpping into my ears. Actually, I deserved to be nagged by her because I was supposed to slice onions and fold clothes yesterday but I didn't do it. I played games the whole day and forget about the chores that was demanded. Oh well, at least I finish doing it. Urgghh... I hate slicing onions. It leave smells on my hands. No matter how many times I washed my hands with soap. I guess it takes 2 days for the smell to buzz off. I find it strange. People often get tears in their eyes when they slice 20 to 30 onions but to me, I don't have any tears. In fact, the more I slice the onions, the more sleepy I am. My eyes were like droopy and I nearly sleep with the knife. HAHA! Enough about onions! Lets get started.

Like my family went out this afternoon but I did not follow them. Due to no mood and blah blah blah. I bet that my father let my elder brother drive the car. There must be a reason why he followed. Always want to drive the car! Hmmp! I'm freaking jealous. Once I get my driving license, I will temporary borrow my father's car. I will spin the whole Singapore and honk at other cars or maybe show middle finger to some inconsiderate drivers! HAHA! If a male driver that is handsome and sexy stop right beside my car, I will wind down the window and flirt with him until he wet his car's seat. HAHA!! Just kidding. Anyway, I really don't know when I want to take my driving license. If I ask my father to provide money for the license, surely my mother will interfere and start to say, "You think driving lesson is $5 is it? Wait until you find a stable job and you can do whatever you want with it. Now, concentrate on studies". She's right. I guess I have to wait until 21 years old.

Once I reach that age, it will be freedom! No more checking of ID card when going to pub or whatever. Can watch RA movies and see if any horny guys do masturbate inside the cinema. Seriously, I can't stop thinking about this story when my classmate told me that her friend went to watch RA movie when her friend spotted a guy opened up his umbrella and unzipped his fly, took out his cock and masturbate. Right inside the cinema!! Amongst all other places, why must it be in public??? Ok, I know that in cinema, the place is in darkness but that doesn't mean you can simply unzipped your pants and shake your bird bird...!! Might as well that guy watch porn at home right? Can you imagine that guy's sperms flow on his seat?? Whoever sit at his seat will feel some stickyness or something. Ewww... What were he thinking? Can he at least go to the washroom and masturbate there?!! Guys should at least control their horny-ness and wait until the right place to masturbate! Masturbating in public is a big NO NO... You don't see girls take out their panties and masturbate or undid their bra and touching it in public right? If you see it, then good for you. HAHA! Imagine yourself going to the cinema to watch RA movie, when a group of horny guys sitting 2 seats in front of you. All of them were masturbating and moaning so hard... Like, "Ahhh.... Yeah baby.... Ahhh..." (HAHA!!) What would you do?? If I were there, I would simply shout, "SHUT UP LAH...!!! PEOPLE WATCHING PORN MOVIE TO HEAR THE ACTOR AND ACTRESS MOANING...!! NOT YOU BUNCH OF HORNY BASTARD GUYS WITH BABY COCK!!!". (And run out of the cinema and turn off all the power supply in the cinema!! HAHA!!)

Imagine you're a girl and you found yourself in a cinema full of guys watching RA movie and darn, within a few minutes you will get rape by all those horny guys. What if you watch that kind of movie with your boyfriend? I bet that he will be so uncomfortable watching it with you and if you have a horny boyfriend, then too bad for you. I don't know why some people waste their money to watch RA movies. Why don't they just visit some porn website or download porn stuff and burn it in the CD. Well, whatever makes them happy.

That is the top story that I can't truly forget about a guy masturbate inside the cinema. Actually, there are many other stories that my friend shared it with me. One time, when she was in a double deck bus, she saw a guy masturbate. At that period of time, the bus is not full of people. She and that horny man were on the double deck. As for her own safety, she quickly rushed down and sit on the lower deck. The most funny part is, she even explain to me how long that horny guy's cock!!! Wah... I laughed my ass off!! Sigh... I don't know whats been happening to the world. Most people dare to do obscene stuff in public like masturbate, doing sex in the carpark etc, doing blowjob. That kind of stuff are meant to do in the bedroom. NOT in public. We don't need you to teach us how to do sex, blowjob or masturbate in public. The residents know this stuff already. Can you imagine couples doing sex in the playground and kids watching them and waiting for them to buzz off so that the kids can play on the playground's slide. Obscene!!!

I'm just curious. If a guy doing sex, how much sperms can come out? 1 cup? 2 cups?? If any guys reading this, a words of advise for you: Please control your horny-ness and masturbate at the right place.

To all the people, If I'm making you uncomfortable with all this open mindedness story, please excuse me. Sorry. HAHA!!

2006-09-14T19:09:00.000+08:00

Ok, let me blog this fast and throw out all this shitty things for today.Wah... Thank goodness that I reached home on time. Within 10 minutes, its started to rain.

Anyway, went to school with YX and as usual, I reached at the MRT first. Wah... I don't really understand guys! They're the one that set the timing and yet, they could not make it on time. Yesterday he said 11 am and then got his message in the morning and want to meet at 11.30 am. At least, he is not that late like last time. Sigh... Well, at least I can watch cartoon. HAHA! Wei...! Doesn't mean you're watch cartoon, you are childish ok! No, it is not. Cartoons = Arts. But today cartoons look like shit so I had no choice but to switch to Channel 5 and watch Oprah and Entertainment Tonight.

YX asked me if I know Mr. Brown and I was like blur and clueless. Seriously, I really don't know who the hell is Mr. Brown. YX said that he's a funny guy and I really got to find out who this Mr. Brown is. Ok, first thing first. When I reached home, I asked my younger brother who is Mr. Brown? He said that Mr. Brown is a funny guy and I was like wah... my younger brother know who is that Brownie and how come I don't know? Urghh... I'm such a noob! Googled it and it turned out to be Mr. Brown's blog. Kept me thinking, is he that popular in blogging in Singapore? The only person I know that is popular in blogging is Xia Xue. Click on my links if you want to visit Xia Xue's blog. Seriously, Xia Xue is still the best and she never put me to sleep if I read her blog. Most of her entries are so hilarious that I nearly pee on my panties! Moreover, she is so open minded and I love the way she speaks out. Girl power! Well... as for Mr. Brown, I think I'm gonna survey his blog.

I don't know why the hell YX asked me about my name in the MRT. Still can asked Sofia is what name. Wei... Nobody has ever asked me about my name lei.. Wah... Same school with him since Secondary School and ITE also don't know is it? Still have the cheek to ask why the name Sofia? Sigh... How should I know? My parents gave me that name since I'm born in this world. My full original name is Nurul Sofia. My name got meaning. Nurul means Cahaya (Lights) and Sofia means Suci (Pure). HAHA! Pure Lights, thats it. If your house got no lights, ask me to come. I will give you lights! HAHA! Lame. At home, my family and relative call me Nurul and friends call me Sofia. HAHA!

Hey, check this out. I was searching more meaning about the name Sofia in the internet.

The girl's name Sofia is pronounced so-FEE_ah. It is of Latin origin. Spanish and Italian form of Sophia.

Sofia has 2 variant forms: Sofiah and Sofie.

Sofia is a very popular female first name, ranking 765 out of 4275 for females of all ages in the 1990 U.S. Census. Sofia is a common surname, ranking 32807 out of 88799 for people of all ages in the 1990 U.S. Census.

****

Hmmm... What would it be like if my name Sofia is spell in a different way? Nurul Sophia... Nurul Sofiah.... Anyway, most people spell my second name wrongly. Most of them spell it Sophia. Thats wrong lah... Its S-O-F-I-A. Thank you very much.

Ok, people. School was shitty sucks today. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Anyway, went home together with YX again. It was an coincidence. Didn't talk to him much like the way we talked during going to school. YX asked me why I'm quiet? Well, I'm just tired thats all. I slept in the train all the way and I thought I heard YX listened to Pussycat dolls 'Don't cha'. Correct me if I'm wrong. HAHA! Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me... Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me... Don't cha... MUAHAHAHA!!!

2006-09-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

If you are using Windows Live Messenger, do you have any problem signing in yesterday? Well, I had. Tried so many times but can't get through it. So, I had to use the old Window Messenger. What surprise me is that only one of my contacts is online. I guess everybody had the same problem with their Windows Live Messenger. My younger brother just told me that all of his friends had problem with the signing in thing.

School was fine but I close my eyes every now and then when the lesson started. I thought about skipping school today but what the heck? I forced my ass out of the bed. Moreover J2ME lesson deduct 5% of your attendance if you never come for one lesson. Shit. I already got my first warning letter for that shitty J2ME lesson. Only 90% also want to send letter. Thats what I called shit! As if that is a serious case. Several of my classmates, including me, came in more than 30 minutes late for that shitty lesson and thank god, my lecturer did not mark us as absent. He gave us chance. Next week there will be no more. Idiot.

Tomorrow N.U.H appointment is at 4 pm. Check up again. Sigh... Lesson for tomorrow finish at 3 pm. Just nice. My father gonna pick me up from school and drive me to N.U.H tomorrow. I hope I get to see some sexy and handsome male doctors or male nurses! HAHA!!

Random...

The 'I can't stand it' thing:

I can't stand it if people dig their nose and stick it on the wall.
I can't stand it if people never wash their hands after they went to the washroom. (Eeww!)
I can't stand it if people put their MSN status as online but never reply other people messages.
I can't stand it if Men have long fingernails.
I can't stand it if my friends treat me as if I'm not there.
I can't stand the smell of cigar's smoke. I rather smell the cigarette's smoke than cigar.
I can't stand it if I don't get to see the guy that I admire.

Well... If you can't stand it, why don't you just sit down? Stand... Sit... Get it? I'm just trying to be lame. -_-''

Bad day today...Shit...

2006-09-11T20:27:00.000+08:00

Fuck my internet connection!! You know, while I was finishing my entry for today blog and guess what? My freaking internet let me down!! KNN!! Shit! My entry is gone! For 20 fucking minutes I've been typing it and now, its gone just because of one stupid internet connection! I'm so fucking frustrated! First thing in the morning, it was the 2 elevators in my flat that behaving like a noob! Press the fucking button but the elevators won't move! Shit! The whole residents had to went up and down the fucking stairs! But I'm lucky that the elevators are back to normal in the afternoon. If not I have to use the stairs to the 14 storey. Next, school kinda sucks! With all the fucking labsheets that cause major confusion and I feel like throwing the book and kick my teacher in the nuts! And now, the fucking internet connection! It behaving like a noob too! Why the fucking hell I can't get into msn??!! Even my younger brother can't get into his msn. KNN!! So many noob things been happening today! Fuck! I got no fucking mood to type what I just type last 20 minutes ago. Shit.

Please excuse my bad words for today. I know I should control it but my fingers are just too itchy to type it.

2006-09-10T14:40:00.000+08:00

I barely had an 8 hours of sleep. I thought about having the longest sleep ever of the month but I was woken up by my mother. Heard her called my name and I really thought it was 2 pm but no, it was 11 am!! Screw! So early and moreover, it is Sunday. Makes no different whether it is weekends or weekdays. Still had to wake up early. Drag my ass from the bed and be a good girl. I had done all the chores and even helped my mother cut 30 onions. I'm a super warrior onion cutter because there's NOT even a single tears coming out!! The secret is to make your eyes sleepy. HAHA! I think thats the secret lah. I'm just being lame.

Like yesterday chatted with YX on msn at around 2 in the morning. Such a "gay" and lame conversation. Shit! Go Zouk never invite me. Oh... I guess thats the reason why he can't be my bodyguard yesterday at 1 pm! Am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong. He went clubbing on Friday night. What a nice friend I have. Thanks for nothing. I had to lie to that person in order to give reason for that appointment. Sigh... Nevermind, I also don't care about that appointment. HAHA! Lame. -.-''

I think I'm gonna lock myself in my room and blast the radio out so loud! Sing along time! Tomorrow is yet another school day. Shit.

2006-09-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

Freaking hell.. I missed class photo taking today because I had to go for an appointment at the hospital. Looks like I'm gonna graduate from ITE with no memories. Sad isn't it? It doesn't matter. Health is what matter most.

My father drove us (me, mother and younger bro) to N.U.H and I swear I was having a nervous breakdown. The car's air-con was cold but my palm and feet were sweating. Once reach at the hospital, my heart were beating so fast that it felt like I'm a bride walking down the aisle. I had this gorgeous female doctor with a great sharp face scrupture. If she isn't a doctor, she could be a supermodel. She checked on me, blah blah blah and then I went numb. When she said blood test, all I can hear is the words saying in extremely slow motion. Not again! I was slipping down from my seat and nearly pee on my panties. I had to take urine test, X-ray and blood test. Oh god... The agony of having a needle pierce right through your flesh...

As I was waiting for my queue to have my blood check, I kept telling myself that having an injection is nothing. Just imagine a big red ant biting you but suddenly a piece of Iris lyric from Goo Goo Dolls popped right in my head:

"And you bleed just to know your alive".

Shit! Amongst every other songs lyrics, why must it be the Iris song?? Like about 10 mins, its my turn to have my blood test and the nurse were friendly and funny and so I thought hey, maybe she can make my fear go away but no, there is a problem! The problem lies with my stubborn vein. I had 3 nurses to search for my freaking blood vessels! First, my left arm. She tighten up my upper arm and spanked it. No sign of vein popping out. Spanked again. Vein still not showing. My palm were sweating. After no sign of any vein on the left arm, she moved to the right arm. Spanked it and repeat again. I swear I felt like a small kid being spank for misbehaving. I was relieved when she said she found one but the problem is the vein is too deep and its gonna be hurtful.

Conversation:

NURSE A: Your right arm seem to have shown the vein but its deep and its gonna be more painful. If you feel the pain, tell me. (Start taking out the needle and poke it.)

ME: (Felt fine when she inject my arm but shit! I let out a tiny scream! Shit!! Shit!! Pain!)

NURSE A: (Quickly took out the needle.) This vein can't be inject. Too deep. Sigh... Why your vein very stubborn. I found it already but its deep and moreover, your vein play hide and seek.

ME: HAHAHA!! (Hands still sweat like hell.)

NURSE A: (Called Nurse B to help her search for my blood vessels.)

*Once again, my left arm is being spank.*

NURSE B: (Touch to feel the vein.) Ok, found one already but this vein is deep. I'm gonna try and inject it. Pain, tell me.

*What?!! Left arm also got deep vein?!! Not again!!*

Obviously, I let out a scream! So the second attempt is failed.

NURSE A: I never had a patient who I can't find a single vein.

ME: HAHAHA! (That was a nervous laugh, actually. Still my hands is sweating.)

*Nurse C came to the rescue.*

NURSE C: Let me search for her vein.

NURSE A: You sure can find or not? Her vein very stubborn. Like to play hide and seek.

NURSE C: What if I can find it?

NURSE A: Find lah. (Laughing.)

*This time, we moved back to my right arm. Spank my arm. Sigh...*

Within 5 mins, Nurse C found my NOT so stubborn vein and the injection went smooth!! Yeah!! The agony is finally over!! 3 tubes of my precious blood is taken away! 3 tubes!! ARGHHH!!

Thanks alot veins for NOT behaving yourself today! How dare you! 3 times my flesh being poke by the needles! One on the left arm and two on the right arm! 1st and 2nd attempt was a failed but the 3rd saved me from the agony!! This is the worst injection I ever had!

Next week, appointment again. So much money being used.

2006-09-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

I am super duper happy today!!! When I'm online on my msn, guess who is the first person to send me message on msn? Its YX...!!! Yeah!! At first I don't know who the hell chat with me but when I saw his display picture, my heart goes crazy. I'm happy!! Extremely happy!! At last, got to chat with him but never see his face in school. YX, if you're reading this, you really made my day! HAHA!!

Chat anything under the moon including gays and hardgay. What the?? Hardgay is so freaking irritating!! With his "WooooOOOoOOoooo" and his super duper tight mini shorts! At first I found that hardgay is funny but after awhile of watching it over and over again, it really bugged me and getting on my real nerves.

Shall not blog much and get to bed as soon as possible for tomorrow appointment but first I want to play games!

Did he just ignore me??

2006-09-05T00:54:00.000+08:00

Its terrible. I think I miss him so much. I really do miss him. Extremely miss YX. Its been like 3 weeks or so that I didn't see his face or whatever. He's online right now but everytime I msn with him, he never reply. I know he is busy with his school project but at least can he type something?! For goodness gracious me! At least a bunch of ' ..... ' or ' ??? ' or ' haha '!! He's busy until he forgot friend is it? A simply reply can really make my day. At least I feel satisfied if he reply my msn. But no, he did not fulfilled it. Spoiled my day. Anyway, this is not the first time he did not reply my message. Many times ok! Arghh! Here I am, missing him like crazy and sigh... I feel like it is no use missing a person. I felt like an idiot.

YX offline already. The guy that I've been missing is offline.

I mean yeah, no point in missing a person. Trust me, you will feel like an idiot. I'm already an idiot. 3 weeks of missing him and 3 years of having a crush on him. Although me and him are just friends but I really admire him more than that.

Who am I fooling? Geez... I'm such a joke. An idiot. A loser. I'm a fool. Get a grip, Sofia...!! Ask yourself this questions!! Are you fit enough to be his girl? NO! Do you think he ever have a crush on you? NO! Do you think he ever want a girl like you?? Look at yourself in the mirror!! Are you that pretty and sexy for him?? NO!! I'm just a fat bloody biatch!! What're you waiting for? Forget him! You know you won't get him!!

Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!!Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!! Fuck!!
( I'm sorry. I just want to get this bad word out of my head and I'm not scolding anyone but myself.)

Maybe I should forget about him but my heart tells me to keep on admiring him but the question is, for how long am I gonna go crazy over him?? In the end I still don't get him. It will be a fantastic if I get him. Yeah right. In my dream! It takes two hands to reach out but I'm the only one that is reaching out for 3 years.

I'm not going to school today. Due to sick again.

*If a person try to ignore you. Don't you worry. Always tell yourself that the world keeps spinning gracefully. The whole world is willing to make friends with you.

Blink..

2006-09-03T01:39:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was such a headache. My head wasn't behave itself. At first I thought an outer spaceship was outside the window. I had to go off to bed early. Urghh...

Today is Sunday right? Hmm... At first I thought it was Monday. HAHA! So many holidays I've been received until I forgot what day it is. Extreme bored at home. Things were usual. Parents nagging. I'm finding trouble with my younger brother. Blah blah blah... Watched the encore telecast of Singapore Idol. Bored. Switched channel. Nothing. More bored. Move around the house. Mop the floor. Sigh... What a life! Boring life, I mean. HAHA! You know what? My mother had a plan on karaoke in the house and I was like, No way! I'm not touching that microphone and I ain't singing. Plan failed. Thanks to me. HAHA!

A friend of mine said that she wish that money would drop from the sky. Sigh... She got nothing to do but thinked of these nonsensical stuff. -_-"

It is impossible for money to drop from the sky! You can only wish for it but it will NOT happen. Unless a rich guy shower you with lots and lots of money. That will be a different story.

Imagine this. As you were walking by the street, whistling to yourself and suddenly you heard a loud 'THUMP' on the pavement. You stopped whatever you are doing and looked at the pavement. You found nothing but when you turned behind, you saw stacks of money. Approximately around $700,000. You looked around but there's no one in sight. You looked up at the sky and smile to yourself, bend on your knees and shouted, "Its a miracle!". Would you take that money that "drop" from the sky? Of course you would, right? HAHA! What would you do with that kind of money? Don't tell me that you gonna put all the money in your bank account?

For me, I would:

Buy lots and lots of teddy bears.
Hair extension thats longer than Xia Xue! HAHA!
Laptop.
A little bit of Louis Vuitton's stuff.
Hire a Male stripper. HAHA! Keep me entertain.
Donate to the less fortunate.
Save some for rainy days.

Yup, thats the only stuff that I really can think right now. Sigh... If only money drop from the sky. Get this. It won't happen. You can only dream and wish but it will NOT fall. You have to earn it to live in a luxurious life! People, study hard and don't waste it. Be a good citizen or Mr. Policeman will spank you! Ouch! HAHA!

Tips for you: If you heard a friend of yours said that he or she wish that money would drop from the sky, you simply answer them, "Can. Money can drop from the sky one. You wait here hor... I go to the 100th storey building and throw money at you! Thats called money drop from the sky what..." HAHA!

2006-08-31T02:52:00.000+08:00

Its 2.47 am right now and I should be marching to bed. Actually, I can sleep any time because today NO LESSON!!!!! YEAH!!! Guess what?? Friday also NO lesson!!! Yippy!! 2 days of lazying around. What a long weekend its gonna be... This week, I only came one time for school. HAHA!

This week:

Monday - Absent from school. Sick.
Tuesday - Absent from school. Sick again.
Wednesday - Fully recovered. Came to school.
Thursday - No lesson. Lesson cancelled.
Friday - No lesson again.

HAHA!! Oh ya, Happy Teacher's Day in advance.

What a short entry.

=P

2006-08-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

I think I am fully recovered now. Fever gone? Check. Diarrheoa? Not check. Urghh. I hate diarrheoa. I have to shit so many freaking time. I bet the water bills gonna raise. I will be going back to school tomorrow. I miss all the lame and crappy friends! HAHA!

Random:

Its been weeks that I didn't see his face. Kinda miss him but whats the use of missing somebody? In return, you'll get nothing. Sometimes I feel like telling him that I miss him so much that even God agree with me. I miss him so deeply that its hurt. Same school but different class, timetable and course. I think it is better to forget about him. How to forget him if I have already admire this guy for 3 years?
*****

Random questions thats been popping out:

If I were an animal, what would I be? Why?
Cat. 'Cause cats have long sharp nails and have eyes that are beautifully shaped.

If I'm locked in a room with somebody, who will that be? Why?
Policeman. We can play police and thief. Chase each other. HAHA!

If I have the chance to meet Bugs Bunny, what would I do?
I would definitely pluck off his rabbit tooth and give him a full set of teeth.

I know all my answers are totally lame. Here's the serious answers to the next questions:

Are you single?
Yes. For 18 years I've been single.

If you're in a relationship, what do you want in a relationship?
Finding time for each other. Maybe 1 week 1 time we meet each other.
Kissing and hugging is a must. Lame conversation, definitely.

Will you be a strict lover?
Yes. If he ask me things that I never want to do, then I will say, "Goodbye honey! Nice to be with you. Hope we'll never meet again".

If both of you had a fight, who would apologise first?
Of course the person that did the wrong thing must apologise first. Don't be such an ass if you apologise when you done nothing wrong.

If your guy is having a mood swing that is worst than a girl, what would you do?
Hmm... I will freak out and scream, "OH MY GOD! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU CAME YOUR PERIOD!! DO YOU BRING EXTRA KOTEX?!! YOU COULD BORROW MINE!!".

I LOVE guys......:

Spiky hair.
Clean fingernails.
Good KISSER.
170 cm and above in height.
Lame and crappy conversation.
Good in characters.
Goatee.

I HATE guys.....:

Too much tattoo.
Too much piercing.
Arrogant.
Playboy.
Full of violence.
No respect to women.
That can't finish up the foods.

2006-08-28T11:22:00.000+08:00

Ok, my fever gotten down abit but I felt some dizziness. Finally, I can sleep peacefully tonight. No more tossing and turning and shivering continously under my warm blanket. My whole body is aching especially my neck. Could someone please massage it? I'm absent from school today. The joyfulness of not coming to school is unspeakable but its rather quite bored. Today is the only day that I have a reason for not coming to school.

With nothing to do at home, I think I will watch Nanny Mcphee VCD. I simply love that movie. I don't get bored watching it over a million times. You know what? I prefer watching British type of movies than American ones. The reason is that British language is more high class standard. The way they talk are more polite. I just love the slang. Whohoho!

Well... if you excuse me, I have to watch that show now.

Feeling under the weather.

2006-08-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

Urghh. My body temperature is not behaving itself today. The stubborness of the fever is still clinging on me. When can this hotness ever go down? I feel like throwing myself into a nice, steamy hot tub where I can have a piece of mind. Wish that somebody could give me a massage on my aching body. Ahh.. What I really want is someone to pamper me. Pamper me like a baby. Shower me with your love, baby! Once you give me your love, I will be alright. Hmmp! As if there's a guy that is willing to shower me with his love. Anyway, I hope that my fever will be gone soon. I guess I've been eating too much chocolates and cookies. Thats bring up the heat in me. I'm hot and you're not! HAHA! Lame. I feel extremely hungry but there's no appetite. I barely finish my plate of rice. If I counted rightly, I guess I ate 40 grains of rice. So little. The rest of the unfinished rice, I gave it to my father.

I hate taking medicine especially pills. I rather take liquid type of medicine. So easy to swallow. I felt so nausea right now. I want to vomit but there's nothing come out. I hate being sick! Fever sucks to the core.

=)

2006-08-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

Been pigging out so much lately. Yesterday I ate kinder bueno and 3 packets of Hershey dark chocolates but I did not ate it alone. I shared it with my mother and younger brother. Its best to eat chocolate with your love ones. You feel full if you share it. Thats my tip for you if you are eating chocolate.

Today, I bought 200 grams of Famous Amos double choc cookies ($9), one big cadbury chocolate and Nestle dark chocolate. Yes, I'm pigging out again. Reached home and shared the cookies with my mother and younger brother. Got scolded from my mother.
.
.
.
Conversation:

YOUNGER BROTHER: How much you bought this cookies?

ME: 200 grams for $9.

YOUNGER BRO: Wah... So expensive, huh?

ME: Famous Amos, thats why.

YOUNGER BRO: So little.

MOTHER: Papa gave you school pocket money to buy this, huh?

ME: No. Its not like I buy Famous Amos cookies everyday.

MOTHER: *Munching the cookies* You should not eat this cookies too much. Very sweet.

ME: Yes. Thats why I'm sharing it with you.

I know I'm a good daughter. No need to applaud me. I swallowed around 15 pieces of cookies and gave the rest to them. Well, the cadbury chocolates is in the refrigerator. Some are gone. Digesting. I have a sweet tooth and this chocolates have been calling me. Its like the chocolate keep pulling me and say, "Eat me... I'm your biggest desire". -_-''

Anyway, Teacher's day is around the corner. Are you guys going back to your Secondary school? Looks like most of my old friends are not going back. HAHA! On 2 September, my class are gonna have Teacher's day celebration at East Coast. Should I go? I'm still thinking about it. Maybe I should go. I heard that it will be the last class outing.

While blogging, I'm text messaging with Cute Angel. She having problems. Cute Angel, if you are reading this, I hope that your problems will soon be solve. You gotta be strong and put on a bright and brave face. Running from problem lead you to NO WHERE. You gotta tell him to slim down if he wanna win your mother's heart. Good luck! About the rest of the problems, it will soon be gone.

Like oh my god! Its been a long time that I have not seen that YX's face. He's online right now but his status is 'be right back'. Asked him about how's his NS check up but never reply. @$%%$^$#. HAHA!! Yeah, whatever. Lame.

Out of a sudden emotional composition:
.
.
.
Your face starts to appear in my mind.
Flowing like a cold river.
Sending chill down my spine.
When I touch the water surface,
your face starts to disappear.
I forced my hand to stop touching the water.
Coz' I don't want you out of my mind.

Years and years of falling in love with you,
But I still can't get you.
I've been reaching out long enough.
I've been hanging on a bar, like a monkey.
My hands felt like butter thats gonna melt.
My fingers are slipping down from the bar.
But my heart tell me not to tell it go,
No matter how slippery or painful my joints is.

What if he treat me like a friend,
Should I let it go?
Should I stop reaching out for him?
Or keep going crazy over him?
If I try to forget him,
I'm scare of being upset with myself.
If I keep falling in love with him,
For how long am I gonna go crazy over him??
10 years??
Until the day I let go of my last breath and still don't get him??

I looked at the mirror everyday,
Asked myself with full of burning rage.
Why still admire a guy that treat me only just as a friend?
Why am I so weak to forget about him?
Am I not tired of admiring him?
Am I fit enough to be his "girl"?
I don't think so!!
Do I turn him on?
NO!
Then why the hell am I going crazy over him?!
I don't know!!

Love is NOT like a cigarettes.
Cigarettes don't last forever.
Lit the cigarette and its gone in 5 mins.
Love is forever.
No matter how angry or upset you are,
There is still love that stuck somewhere in your soul.

2006-08-20T20:09:00.000+08:00

Sunday is the most boring day ever. Well, for me actually. Bored. As. Ever. Oh ya, I just switched on my handphone and got a message from YX. He actually send that message at 5.41 pm and during that period of time, my handphone was off. You know, I find it so called funny. When you had your handphone switch on, nobody message you but once you had your handphone off, several people will message you. Weird.

Anyway, YX messaged me, "Hey are you at home? You have printer at home? I need to print a NS form and tomorrow I need it.. Can you help me?".

Aww.... He sounded so cute in that message. I don't have a printer. Sigh... I hope that he will find at least a printer by now. Computers nowadays don't come with printer. Wish that I can help him so that I can be happy. HAHA. I bet that he send as many messages to his friends or whatever for printer. Oh ya, this coming week, he will be having his NS check up. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! And why the hell am I getting excited over here? -_-''

Tomorrow is a new week. Monday, school starts at 8 am. Arghh... The agony of waking up so early.

Just wanna share with you something.

"I never thought that I still admire you until today.
I never thought that my feeling for you is still going strong for 3 years.
I never thought that my brain are polluted with your face.
I never thought that my heart are fill with your name.
I still remember the times I fall in love with you back in Secondary school.
It took me 2 years to realise that we used to be in the same class during Sec 1 and 2.
We used to be in the same DNT class during sec 3 and 4.
Time move on and changes.
After our 'N' level result, I thought that I would never see you again.
But I'm so glad that we are in the same ITE eventhough we are in the different course and timetable.
Close friends were shocked when they got to know that I like you.
I still remember the date that I confessed to you.
18 January 2006 is the date that I messaged you about my feelings.
It took me a few years to tell you.
I guessed you had a big shock there, huh?
I know you and me are different in race, language and religious.
I don't care about that.
Love knows no boundaries.
I don't know if you still remember me as a girl that admire you.
Sometimes when I go to school with you, there are many things that I wanna say and ask you but my mouth keeps shutting up.
I'm curious about you.
There are times when I try to forget about you but I can't.
Your face keeps flashing in my brain.
I still remember during your birthday I gave you a present.
You are the first guy that I ever gave a present to.
Maybe you are special to me.
The present that you gave me, I really appreciate it.
Whenever I did not get to see you in school, I would grab that cute giraffe and stare at it.
Before I go to sleep, I would kiss it.
After I woke up, I would kiss it.
If I'm upset, I would cry with it.
If I'm angry, I would strangle it.
I really love that cute giraffe.
Any suggestion on naming that giraffe?

Anyway, I really like and love you.
My heart beats faster when I see you or sit beside you."

Arrghh..

2006-08-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

I thought that by watching Singapore Idol would give me some entertainment but no, it was NEVER an entertainment! Wanna know why? Cause' all the good singers was voted out so early and the lousy ones are still in the competition. Can you believe that Mathilda D'Silva got voted off today?!! I mean, what??!! Such a good vocal and yet, she got kicked out! The losers just sat comfortably and continue their journey to becoming the next Singapore Idol. I hope they feel guilty! Because of them, good vocalist like Mathilda got voted off!! I don't know what's been happening to all the Singaporean's ears?! Do you know that good vocalists such as Mathilda, Hady and Jonathan were in the bottom 3 today?!! Its their second times in the bottom 3!! Many people predict that Mathilda, Hady and Jonathan are going to be in the TOP 3 but Mathilda have to pack her bags. My only hope right now is that Hady and Jonathan will be in the finals. Both of them got good vocals unlike the other losers that aren't suppose to continue their journey. HADY AND JONATHAN, PLEASE MAKE IT TO THE FINALS!! YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY GOOD ONES LEFT BEHIND UNLIKE THE OTHER LOSERS!!

People, please vote for vocals. NOT popularity!!

*******

Went to school with YX. It was ok. Felt a little bit boring. Talked a little bit but we were staring into space alot. Talked about Singapore Idol blah blah blah and Bangladesh Idol. Lame. But seriously, is there any Bangladesh Idol?? African Idol?? *Clueless*
YX said that American Idol started the whole Idol thing but no, my dear. It was the British people that started the Idol thing first. Pop Idol, that is. Then followed by the American Idol and so on.

Then we talked about cartoons. Lame topic. He started it! He knows that I'd watched cartoon before going to school today. HAHA! Clever! Do you guys remember Banana in Pyjamas? HAHA! Suddenly YX talked about Banana in Pyjamas. I still remember watching that when I was a kid. I love the way when YX do the 'Boing' thing. You know the 'Boing' thing when B1 and B2 have an idea.

It goes something like this:

'Boing'

*The 2 bananas move their heads side to side* and say...

B2: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B1?

B1: I think I am, B2.

B1 and B2: Its fishing time.

HAHA!! Do you remember now? I simply love Bananas in Pyjamas. Anyway, YX said that Spongebob Squarepant looks like a cheese! How dare he! I'll make sure I send a dozen flying cheese on his face! HAHA! Kidding! Spongebob is my favorite! So cute and funny! Next, Super Duper Sumo. He said I watch it. What was that suppose to mean? Insult, is it? HAHA!! I don't watch Super Duper Sumo and I know that cartoon ass is so cute. HAHA! Lame.

Another thing that really tickles my heart is that YX said that I can sing. HAHA! He haven't even hear me sing and yet, he said I can sing. -_-''

YX: "You can sing what".

ME: "Yeah right. Bluff".

YX: "The first time I look at your face, I know you can sing".

ME: ....

YX: "I sing like shit".

ME: HAHAHA!!

YX: "Don't laugh".

ME: ....

I think thats how our conversation looks like.

Update, finally...

2006-08-16T18:10:00.000+08:00

*Clearing my throat and taking a deep breathe*

Ladies and Gentlemen.
Sorry for not updating my entries lately.
I kept forgetting to update it and moreover, no interesting and exciting stories to tell in the past few days.

Anyway, I know you guys are so nosey! Well, so am I...! I love sticking my nose on gossips or whatever. Being inquisitive in life is good because you want to know more about what happen around the world, in that person's life or any thing that you are interested in. Plus, you will gain more knowledge or whatever. Old people said, "Curiosity kills the cat". Why must it be a cat? Can't it be a dog or an elephant or lion?? Oh well... *Shrug my shoulders*

I've been humming to this song especially the chorus part.

"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause' I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am" - Iris by The Googoo Dolls

While typing out right now, my stereo is now blasting with that song. I just love that song eventhough it is so yesterday. That song is so meaningful.

Hey! Have you guys check out the new song from Justin Timberlake? Sexy back. Ya, thats the title of the song. Love it..! Especially the song beats. The lyrics is so naughty! HAHA! Love it but I hate the way they made Justin Timberlake's voice sounds like a woman! Arggh! Who cares about him, anyway. HAHA!! Overall, superb song!

School was alright and I have a sore throat. I don't know why. My sore throat started yesterday while I was having my siesta. Woke up and whoa, my throat is not functioning properly. I can't even drink smoothly. I swear that my body temperature was rising this morning but overall, I'm alright but still the sore throat is not gone. Feel like inserting my finger down my throat and scratch it..! HAHA! I guess there are many dusts that are in my throat right now. Thats what I feel while I was swallowing my saliva. Weather was hot today. Gotta drink more plain water right now.

Anyway, song that are playing on my stereo right now: Stars are blind by Paris Hilton. Such an irritating song!! Ok, I have to admit. The first time I heard that song, I fell in love with it but after I heard it for the 3rd times, I felt irritated by it. If you hear that song for like a million times, I think you will have an ears infection! HAHA!

Oh ya, today is the Singapore Idol spectaculars. I'd almost forgot about it.

=)

2006-08-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

School was pretty fine today. I didn't go to school with YX but I saw him in the school canteen around 2.35 pm. I don't know whether he got notice me or not. I'm not that pretty enough for him to take any notice. Glad that I saw him today. Enough about him.

Anyway, I missed the Singapore Idol result show because I was in the MRT, went home late. Speaking of late, the reason why I reached home late is that me and a bunch of my classmates went to Tampines Mall to have our dinner together at Pizza Hut. Yummy! Thanks to Azizul for treating me eat pizza. I was broke so he "sponsor" me foods. It was the most scrumptious day ever. What a big feast we had! Reached home around 10 pm. So tired. Moreover, school starts at 8 am tomorrow. Better get some sleep. Don't wanna skip school again like last Friday.

Rahimah Rahim got voted off tonight. Got information from Fidah. Oh well... *speechless* Why can't it be Paul Twohill?? He really gets me on my nerves! Do you know how many people hate Paul? Well, according to my survey, whenever I asked to anyone whether they like Paul? Their answer are always NO...! Boo-hoo!! Seems like many people hate Paul...!! HAHAHA!!! I admit that I do support Paul when he is in the Top 28 but after awhile, I got myself thinking and asked myself, "Why I have to vote for Paul just because of his hair? Am I voting for the worst??".

From then on, I STOP supporting Paul and start liking Jay Lim. I support Jay Lim since he is in the wildcard show. Sad to say that he is no longer in the competition. All because of those people that vote for the worst! By right, Paul, Jasmine and Joakim should be out by now!! Don't know why they are still in the competition.

I hope that Hady, Mathilda and Jonathan will be in the Top 3.

Wah... Tiredness is filling in my body right now. Goodnight!

Meow... Meow...

lalala...

2006-08-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore and Happy 18th Birthday Dillah!!

My period just came today and arghh... Back cramps and mood swing. Cadbury chocolate is playing in my mind right now. I feel like eating chocolate right now. *DROOL*

Did you watch Singapore Idol just now? I didn't paid much attention to the spectacular for today because Jay is not in. I spend most of my time yawning while watching it. Why the freak did Rahimah cried at the end of the show? Did you guys saw it? She had her head hung low and her right hand was like on her face. Was she crying or what? Oh well...

Anyway, Paul's hair make me feel nausea! And his singing is oh so SICKENING...! Thank goodness that Dick Lee's know that Paul is a bad singer! Paul should NOT be in, in the first place! If any Paul's fans that are reading this, its not that I hate him or whatever. His singing just don't turn me on. If it wouldn't for his hair, I guess he won't make it to the Top 12 or whatever. Boo me if you want to. Can't wait to see who will be out next.

I drank this interesting drinks. Its a limited edition of Pepsi Gold. Came in a 600 ml bottle and if you have a dirty minded brain like me, you would think that the bottle is fill with urine! HAHA! Seriously, its look like urine. More to yellowish than gold. So much for calling Pepsi Gold, huh... Might as well named it as Pepsi Yellow. Pepsi Gold is unique, I guess. Usually Pepsi drinks are in black color but this one is "GOLD" in color plus it is not that gassy. I am so cave-woman.

Bluek! HAHA!

In our school =)

In the dance studio =)

Top 4 Supermodel.. HAHA!!
Who will win??

Gila punya orang!!

4 "Princess" and 3 "Slave" HAHA!

Bleuk!! HAHA!

dot dot dot

2006-08-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

Yippy! Skippy-Dee-Doo!! Tomorrow is Singapore's birthday and its public holiday! More time to laze around but Thursday back to school. Sigh.. Anyway, Happy 18th Birthday to Dillah and Happy 41th Birthday to Singapore in advance.

Woke up at 4.30 am. Came to school around 6.45 am to help prepare the dancers for their performance today. Nice make-up and everything. The performance was taken in the school hall and overall, it was ok. Tired, thats what I can say about today.

Yawn... Not much things to type out for today. No excitements today.

Meow... Meow...

One hell of a day.

2006-08-07T17:38:00.000+08:00

At the beginning and end of the day, I felt extremely exhausted. I heard my alarm rung but I continued to snuggle under my blanket. Shit. Woke up at 6 am. Eventhough I slept early but I kept waking up and going to the washroom. The reason is that before I went to sleep, I took medicine tablet. Oh ya, yesterday I went to private clinic with my parents at Woodlands Mart. My feets are kinda swollen but its not blue-black color. It just that my feets look bigger than it used to be and moreover, my joints are in pain too. Especially my knee joints and finger joints. I had to take urine test and blood test. I was like oh my god?!! Blood test?!! I was petrified. Actually it was not painful. Well, what can I say? I'm a brave lady. HAHA! I can't believe that the doctor took so much of my precious blood. She filled in 2 tubes of my "luxurious" blood. Eewww... Anyway, the reason why I keep waking up and going to the washroom is that the medicine I took which named is Frusemide, by the way. That medicine really give me "hell"...! I had to wake up between my sleep and run to the washroom to pee. Imagine doing that 3 times! I had trouble sleeping. Frusemide medicine is to help me to remove excess water in my body so that my feets won't be swollen again. Thats why I kept going to the washroom. I had to take 3 types of medicine tablets in total. Sigh... I'm sick and tired of swallowing it. Wish that I can just chew it just like chewing gums.

School was pretty fine. Had one lesson only. Finished at 11 am but didn't went home. Just loiter around Bugis. Well, its not supposedly loitering around. My classmates are doing their project and I'm not one of them because I'm in the other group. It was one hell of a day. We walked as if there is no tomorrow. Back and forth. I would like to thank my stamina for being with me today. Without my stamina, I would collapse on the pathway. Anyway, went home took bus 157 from Toa Payoh and had my short siesta. While I was having my siesta, a cute guy sat beside me. Wow! He wore so smart. He read book and he is in the same category as me. Bookworms category, that is. After a few glances at him, he makes my eyes droopy. So I decided to take a few minutes of siesta but too bad, I couldn't even sleep. Forget about siesta and sit up straight and scan for any hot guys out there. HAHA!!

Anyway, I just don't understand why people thought me and him are couples!! Seriously, I don't understand. I mean me and him are classmates and we hang around together. Me and him are close but that doesn't mean that we are couples...!! Don't be narrow-minded...!! Is it a crime to have a guy friend that is close to you?? I hate when people say that me and him are couples. WE ARE NOT...!!! NOT!! NOT!! NOT!!! We have NO string attached. He's my friend and I'm his friend. We are close classmates. Thats all. Don't make this kind of nonsensical gossips, people!!

Tomorrow I have to reach school before 6.30 am because I'll be helping the dancer for their big performance in the school hall. No school lesson for me! Yippy!! Good luck to all my classmates that will be having lesson tomorrow. HAHA! Happy listening to the lecturer's golden words!

Suddenly I miss YX. Its hard to see the person you miss/love/like in school. Different class and different timetable, thats why. Hope to see YX in school or whatever. Miss him so much that can really give me a fever. Sigh... Thats so corny!

I wish, I wish with all my heart that I can meet Jay Lim in person!

Things to sorted out.

2006-08-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

First thing first, I just wanna say sorry to Fidah that I can't attend her chalet thing. Feeling kinda "down" lately. At Pasir Ris is it? Correct me if I'm wrong, Fidah. I guess I missed the fun there, huh? Anyway, Kak Linda got come?? Ain?? Hope you and your family and some of your cousins are having fun.

Secondly, I have no idea what to buy for Fidah's present. I know her birthday is over. What kind of a friend am I? But seriously, I don't know what to buy for her! She doesn't like teddy bears or dolls or whatever. All I know she likes things that have PURPLE color. Purple shoes? That would cost me around $20, is it? Anyway, I have to buy her 3 presents this year. HELP! I need some ideas on what to buy for her. Foods? Thats feel kinda wasted. Pass motions , that is. Bracelets? Necklace? She allergic to it, I guess. Coz she feels so itchy after wearing it. The only problem is that I'm broke right now. If I know earlier, I should have save money before our one month school holidays. I knew this problem would come. During school holidays, I don't get much pocket money. Even when normal school days, I still don't get enough pocket moneys. Picture this. 1 week = $ 15. Thats mean for 1 day I have to spend $3 for school pocket money. You tell me, enough or not? For me, its NOT enough and moreover, my classmates like to eat outside of school. They often eat in school. Thats why sometimes I don't eat with them. I watch them eat. Seriously, I got to save money for Fidah's 3 birthday presents. Wish me luck!

Lastly, I'm feeling kinda sleepy right now and today, I have to go and visit the doctor. Sigh... Gotta sleep if not she will be nagging at me. My mother, that is. Good night to all my honeys, darlings, sayang and cutie pies... No matter what gender you are... I love you, baby!! HAHA!!!

2006-08-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

HAHA!! A friend of mine called me and by the tone of my voice, she knew that something was not right. I told her that I will tell her the details in SMS and hung up. This is what I type to her, "I'm OK. There's nothing wrong with me. Its just that I'm feeling kinda upset that Jay Lim got voted off."

Ok ok... I know you guys would go, "Not Jay Lim again... Why can't you just get over it?!!" Easy for you to say if you're not Jay's supporters. Jay doesn't deserved to get voted out. It is too early. He should at least get in the Top 4 but because of SMS voting, he was voted off. I did vote for him. Eventhough he is out of the competition, I don't feel any regret voting him. I'm proud of myself that I vote for him for the past few weeks.

Anyway, an old Secondary 4 classmate of mine just MSN with me. Mind you, its NOT YX that I'm talking about. He's not even my classmate back in Secondary 4. Anyway, back to where we stop. Ya, old classmate MSN with me and said to me that he really wants Paul Twohill to be out of the Singapore Idol. Woo!! Seems to me that people are showing their hatred towards Paul. I guess sooner or later, Paul will be out. I hope next week. No doubt about it. I still don't know who I should support next after Jay Lim is out. I guess I won't be watching Singapore Idol.

Friday, which is yesterday. I skipped school and there's no reason why I played truant. Oh, Happy 18th Birthday to Fidah. Once again.

Thursday, 3 August, went to school with YX but our journey to school, we did not talked that much like we used to do last time. In the train, he read newspaper while I'm trying to sleep but I couldn't doze off easily. It was one plain boring ride towards our journey to school. I guess both of us are just plain tired or whatever. Once again, we are late for school. I simply love YX eventhough we are NOT couples. I just love him to bits no matter how lame, irritating or whatever he is. Eventhough he is not handsome but his face is attractive to look at. You won't get sick looking at him. Trust me.

Yawn... So sleepy...
ZZZZZZZZZ.......

I wish, I wish with all my heart that I can meet Jay Lim in person!!

Goodbye Jay

2006-08-04T12:14:00.000+08:00

I got this picture from www.jaylim.net

I swear that my eyes are so puffy. I never cried so much not even when I'm stress or whatever. Seeing Jay Lim got voted off really broke my heart into tiny pieces. I just don't understand why such a great singer got voted off instead of the lousy one that sat comfortably on the seats. I don't understand why Jay, Jonathan and Hady was in the bottom 3 last night. Those 3 dudes are the best and yet they are in the bottom 3 instead of the lousy ones. I wish that people will vote for talent instead of good looks or whatever. Its a singing competition for goodness sake! Last season of Singapore Idol, I never cry for any contestants but this year season, I cried alot for one of the contestants, which is Jay Lim. He's my favourite contestant but his journey to Singapore Idol ended on 3 August. Me and other supporters of Jay Lim will never get to see his performance again.

If I can turn back the clock, I want Paul Twohill and Jasmine Tye to be out of the competition completely!! Just take a look at Paul Twohill...! People don't vote for him because of his singing. They vote for him because he is unique and his bloody freaking long emo hair..!! My hands are so itchy to grab a pair of scissors and snip off his freaking hair...!! Come on people, this is Singapore Idol. Idol that can really sing well and people can look up to it and goes, "Hey! This Idol can really sings well. This Idol give me an inspiration to improve on my singing so that I can join the next season of Singapore Idol..!" Get what I mean, people?? Anyway, I don't find Paul Twohill's cute! I look at him and don't find any cuteness in him and I don't understand why some girls are going crazy over him! Please for heaven and goodness sake! Paul Twohill's face just give me a sense of boredom. Everytime I look at him, he makes me go, "Yawn...!!"... Its not that I really hate Paul Twohill or anything. Don't get me wrong here. I don't have any hatred towards him but I can't believe that he made it to the next round. His singing is getting weaker day by day. Anyway, enough about this freaky dude. Lets move to Jasmine Tye. Yes, she is cute and everything but did you guys listen properly to her performance on 2 August?!! She sung "Wannabe by Spice Girls" and the way she sung is so freaking horrible!! I can't believe that she went to the next round!! I mean what the hell had just happen?!!! Anyway, no use complaining or whatever... Whats done is done! Jay Lim is out and there's nothing we can do about it.

I can't accept the fact...

2006-08-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

Tears started to flow down. One by One. As I watched Jay Lim's journey to Singapore Idol ends. I can't accept the fact that he is out of the competition. How can a person with a great voice got kicked out?? Group 2 contains Mathilda, Jonathan, Jay and Hady. Group 2 should be the group that are safe but instead Group 1 takes it all. I mean What-the-freak-fish-head-curry-son-of-fruits-basket?!! It is pretty obvious that Group 2 have the best and strong vocal and yet their group are not safe but in the end, one of them have to pack his or her bags and go home. That person is Jay Lim. I can't control my sadness and I can't believe that he is out. Totally. No second chance. Why did he gets the lowest SMS voting? He didn't sing that bad. I feel like Singapore really don't know how to vote for THE BEST in Singapore Idol...!!! Why waste your money on voting for the worst instead of the best?!!! I hate SMS voting!! Because of SMS voting, people's dream of becoming the next idol shattered..!! I prefer judges eliminate contestant instead of SMS voting!! Then what the use of having judges?!! To give comments? Thats not enough!!! I don't understand why people vote for good looks instead of talent?!! Hello...!! This is a singing competition. NOT good looking competition! Whats the use of having an idol that sing badly but only have good looks?!! Thats not called an Idol...!! Thats called bullshit Mr. Hunk or Ms Pageant...!!! Anyway, I don't know who I should support next after Jay Lim is out of the Singapore Idol. I tell you, IF all the best vocalists get kick out, then there is no point of having a Singapore Idol competition!! Sigh... Tears still running down on my cheeks. Why must Jay Lim be out? Jay Lim will always be an Idol in my heart and he's the best!!

Brit Invasion

2006-08-02T20:53:00.000+08:00

Did you watched Singapore Idol just now? I mean oh my god!! Why in the hell did the 4 judges said bad comments about Jay Lim?!! My blood were boiling to the extreme! In any second now, I will turn into Hulk!! Jay sung "Supreme by Robbie Williams". I mean come on!! Jay Lim DID NOT perform that bad!! I think the judges didn't dig their ears' shit properly! Do they want me to recommend to them about ears waxing???? Seriously, Jay Lim performance was extremely good! Marvelous! Excellent! Fantastic! Wonderful...!! Its not that bad, you know! Anyway, I'm gonna vote for him and thats what supporters of Jay Lim will do. To all Jay Lim's supporters, PLEASE VOTE FOR JAY LIM...!! SMS 7 to 43657 (IDOLS). Each SMS is 60 Cents. Anyway, as I am typing now, Gurmit and Daniel just announced that the lines are open! So... what are you waiting for?? Grab your handphone and SMS 7 and send it to 43657 (IDOLS). JJ's supporters, PLEASE VOTE FOR JAY!!

British Style!! Nice Beetles' hair, my boy...!! VOTE FOR JAY LIM!!! JAY!!!

=)

2006-07-31T21:05:00.000+08:00

Arghh... What a funny nightmare I had today!! Muahahaha!! There is this person in my school that accidently pulled "his" pants too low and it revealed "his" undergarment... Actually this person wants to change back to "his" original pants and instead of changing in the toilet, "he" hid behind a whiteboard that has wheels. I got the perfect view from where I seated and that's when I saw "his" underwear!! HAHAHA!! What a nice underwear I must say and I can't help it but laughed. Can you imagine if there is NO undergarments and bra in this world?? What will we do and how can we survive without it?? Thank god for the all the genius that created underwears and bras! Enough already about this! HAHA! Anyway, school ended at 11 AM but I stayed back at school today just to watch Malay dance practice. It was pretty good but it could be better. 4 people are involve in the performance on 8 August. Fidah, I can't wait to see you dance! WOOO!! I know you can dance very well eventhough you said that you hate dancing! HAHA!! Anyway, I never see YX in school and kinda miss him, I guess. Crazy... The last time I saw him is when we went to school together last Thursday! The day where he is extremely late to meet me in the MRT control station!! Its been 3 days and I already miss him! Geez... That is crazy! He still owe me something! He said he wanna give me a treats! Oh, when can that be? Maybe he forgets about it?!! Guys don't have good memories, I guess. HAHA! I make sure he give me his treats!! Don't just say it, do it...!!! HAHA!! You made me wait for 25 mins in the MRT station. ALONE...!!! Its like a reporter waiting for a superstar for an interview. HAHA!! Lame........

I hate sundays!!

2006-07-30T15:18:00.000+08:00

I really hate Sundays! Really really really hate it...!! Sunday is the day that I got to hear my parents argue and freaking bloody hell, I freaking HATE it...!!! Why do they always have to quarrel and it seems to me that they argue with each other everyday!! When can I have some peace in this family?!! Now they are shouting with each other!! I feel like killing myself..!! I really hate to see my parents argue with each other!! I don't know why I'm born into this world..!! I come into this world not to see my parents screaming to each other! This is not the kind of family portrait I want!! Why can't they discuss instead of screaming!! Grown up should know this kind of things!! Arguements lead you to NO where!! I want peace in this family!!! I had enough with all this fucking shits!!! Child will suffer more if their parents argue! I felt so ashamed when they start to argue. Why can't my parents be like Fidah's parents?!! I don't usually see her parents argue with each other and Fidah don't always tell me that her parents get into any arguements. Why my parents can't be like them?!!! Arguements!! Is that what my parents love to do?!!! They might as well don't get marry in the first place!!! To see them get into an arguements always bring me to tears!! Tears that are angry!! NOT sadness!!! Fuck this shits!!!!

Late entry...

2006-07-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

Its 12.23 AM, Saturday and I'm feeling kinda blue. Life is so complicated and its pretty unfair. Why do I always get the most scolding amongst all my siblings?? What had I done wrong? I always do what they told and my parents kept scolding me! Every little things they always asked me. Nurul do this, Nurul do that. Why not my 2 other brothers?!! They always sit around and play computer. I know I'm such a complain queen and I know that girls always have to do lots of housework but I do have my rights to shout to them and say, "Hey! Why do I always have to do many things instead of my 2 other brothers?!!" Sometimes, I feel like its not fair! Doesn't mean I'm the only daughter, I have to do more housework. What about my brothers?! Biatch! They always have more rest and more fun than me! Well, I need fun too, you know!! Past several hours ago, I got scolded by my father because the volume of my radio is way too loud and I threw my tantrum at him and said, "Why is it always me that get scolding when my radio is too loud?! What about elder brother?!!" Sigh... I really can't take it but threw my anger at my father. Didn't mean too but its the fact. My brother listened to music way too louder than mine and I'm the one that got the scolding. It was suppose to be him. Not me! Anyway, I still remembered that my mother said to me that I'm the most rude person amongst my siblings and I was like, what?!! Of course, I didn't sit there and be a dumbo. I straight away argued with her! I have the rights to stand up for myself. I can't believe my ears that she said I'm the most rude ones amongst my siblings and I mean hello....!! What about my brothers??!! They are the one that are extremely rude!! Damn it...!! Is this what a hardworking child that always does the most housework amongst the siblings gets?!! Sometimes I wish that I'm the only child so that I don't have to compare whose getting the most housechores done. I hate being a middle child..! Middle child DON'T always get alot of attention. Thats what researchers said. Why can't I have sisters instead of brothers?? Guys are always a pain in the ass!!! Argghhhh!!!!!!