A long entry

Poor poor poor old blog of mine. I've been abandon you for so long. Anyway, how are you guys? As for me, I am feeling fine. Wanna know something? My hickman line is finally gone on early February! Yeah, I know its abit outdated to tell you guys. No more stupid wire or whatever sticking out from my chest! You know, I was so freak out when the doctor gonna pull it off. I can actually feel that my heart is being pull out. The doctor said if she can't pull the hickman line off, she gonna cut it (I think thats what she said). I was like, "Are you gonna use that blade on my skin?!!" and she was like, "Yeah but yours shouldn't be a problem because your hickman line have been there for 4 months so it shouldn't be a problem to pull it out. Just hope and pray that everything go smoothly". I was lying on the bed praying that it can be pull off easily while the doctor prepared her gloves and things that needed. She's ready, she takes the hickman line and she told me to relax. I stared at the ceiling and the doctor kept talking to me while pulling the hickman line. Within 2 minutes it was off! Off from my chest! The doctor quickly placed some cotton or Whatever-The-Thing-Called on the hole so that my blood stop. She pressed it hard for like 5 minutes but when she took it off, the blood flow again and I was like, Arghhh!! I felt the blood flow on my shoulder and once again the doctor had to press it again. Anyway, to cut the story short, I'm happy that my hickman line is gone. No more going to the hospital frequently but there's one problem and that is once the hickman line is off, they will have a hard time with me when its come for blood test because they usually took blood from the hickman line. Thats what happened yesterday when the nurses wanna take my blood. Anyway, I wanna blog on 25 February first.

On 25 February, I had heart ultrasound appointment. I hate it because it is totally uncomfortable and its like my left breast being molested with I-Don't-Know-What-That-Thing-Called-That-Looks-Like-A-Price-Tag-Scanner and moreover, the person had to press that thing hard so that the picture is clear or what so ever. This is the second time I had my heart being ultrasound and its NO fun. On 3 March, I had an appointment with the heart doctor and he said that my heart is still the same as the previous result. I was upset because I expect some improvement. Not to give up, I just pray that my heart condition will get better.

On 4 March, I had to go for stomach ultrasound. Its like going for a pregnancy check up! Haha! Anyway, they wanna have my stomach being ultrasound is because they wanna make sure that my stomach doesn't contain too much water. Having my stomach ultrasounded is way too ticklish. I had to control my laughter for 10 minutes throughout the whole check up. My stomach is bloated and I told my mother that I look like an alien and even an african kid. Big stomach with skinny legs. Before going to my ultrasound appointment, I also had to go for my blood test. Since my hickman line is gone, the nurses had a hard time finding my vein. They found a vein but its too deep and they dare not to poke it. They scared that if they poke it and not a single blood come out. Other patients have one nurse to find their vein while me have two or three nurses. Sigh...but in the end, they had to call the doctor. There's no need for me to guess because I know that the doctor gonna take blood from my groin area and sure enough it is. I wonder why it is easier to take blood from the groin and I tell you, it is so uncomfortable especially if the doctor is a male. The pain is like a big red ant bite you and when the doctor pull the syringe to take the blood, I can actually feel it. I had taken blood from my groin for so many times but I still feel scare. Now I have phobia with needles poking into my body. I should have count on how many times my body being poke since the day I was diagnose with Scleroderma. I had my chest being poke, my upper arm being poke, my lung being poke, (Just to take out water that is a lot from my lung) and other places that had been torture with needles. I feel like a guinea pig going for an experimental.


Anyway, the digestion doctor said that my stomach doesn't contain too much water so there is no need to poke my stomach. Phew... Thank God! Before I end this entry, I wanna share a video that is so funny. Its taken from Michael Jackson's beat it video and it is spoken in french or something but not to worry, there's a subtitle to it. Another video is about a cat that can talk. Amazing. Enjoy!