I had a nightmare. I dreamt that the wire ( I don't know whats it call ) that poke through my heart's passageway became longer and the wire is trying to choke me. The wire dropped off and I'm awake. When back to sleep and another nightmare came. I dreamt that I have a boyfriend. I was like ewww....

Anyway, didn't slept well last night and I don't know why. Maybe I was thinking too much. Thinking about will I ever survive without my mother's cares. Will the people help me to pick up coin or stuff that I've drop? Am I brave enough to face the world? I don't know whats have been happening around Singapore. The only place I go is hospital just for check up. Back and forth. I'm getting sick of hospital. Doctors and nurses know me well. I had to put on a fake smile at them. HAHA! I miss going to the mall and wasting my money on nonsensical stuffs. Last week mother decided to take me out to the beach but I don't want to because I'm scare that I might have diarrhea. Scleroderma is a complicated sickness. Sometimes diarrhea, sometimes not. So, I don't know when the diarrhea will strike. If only Scleroderma doesn't involve diarrhea, I would be happy and free from diaper!!!! Anyway, I've been coping well. I walk around the house after breakfast. I hope I can walk normally by the end of December.

The most important thing is that I pray and hope that God get rid Scleroderma from my body.